Any person over the age of 70 years qualifies for FREE installation providing they have LESS than 3" [three inches] of insulation already.
Should they have MORE than 3", they are required to pay towards the cost of increasing the thickness of the said insulation to 10" [ten inches].
An elderly gentleman, having seen the advertisement in his local newspaper, duly applied for this benefit and KNOWING [or so he was convinced] that his loft had only 2" [two inches] of insulation, eagerly awaited the arrival of the surveyor whose job it would be to confirm the gentleman's claim.
Unfortunately, the surveyor was something of a con-man, realizing that the "Old Chap" would be hardly able to gain access to his loft area and after a fruitless scrabble through whatever treasures he may have expected to find tucked away in the loft gathering dust, he seized upon the opportunity to extract a few quid out of the defenceless "Old Chap" by informing him that he did NOT qualify for the benefit in FULL, since his loft contained 4" [four inches] of insulation already.
After some discussion and knowing that he was unlikely to be contradicted, the surveyor managed to extract his few quid "On the side" assuring the "Old Chap" that he would fill in the forms in accordance with whatever requirements the regulations demanded.
Satisfied with his scam, the surveyor departed and in due course the team of insulators arrived and made a fine job of the "Old Chap's" loft.
So why such interest in this small matter ? you may ask.
Ah, but there is a happy ending.
The elderly gentleman may now be seen sitting quite smugly in the corner seat of his local pub, disdainfully eyeing up other elderly gentlemen and giving the "Glad Eye" to all the ladies AND there is a reason for it you see.
He has quite subtly enquired of most of those elderly chaps, just how well endowed are they below, with each response he receives, his own ego swells and the twinkle in his eye increases.
"Ah!" says he to himself, "I thought I had 2" of insulation in my loft, the surveyor told me that I have 4" what a fool I was for all those years thinking that I only had a 6" tool like the rest of these old fogies, when in fact here I sit with a good 12", I think I'll chance my arm with Mary Smith !"
); then kindly cast your young eye over the last paragraph and let me know if the numbers "2" and "4" should be in that order ... 
