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Bankers vs Pigeons

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Bankers vs Pigeons

Postby Zorba » Fri Oct 17, 2008 7:53 pm

What's the difference between a London Banker and a Pigeon?

A Pigeon can still put a deposit on a brand new Porsche
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Postby cyprusgrump » Sat Oct 18, 2008 6:12 am

You wanna bank joke?

Einstein dies and goes to heaven only to be informed that his room is not yet ready.

"I hope you will not mind waiting in a dormitory. We are very sorry, but it's the best we can do and you will have to share the room with others" He is told by the doorman.

Einstein says that this is no problem at all and that there is no need to make such a great fuss. So the doorman leads him to the dorm. They enter and Albert is introduced to all of the present inhabitants.

"See, Here is your first room mate. He has an IQ of 180!"

"That's wonderful!" says Albert. "We can discuss mathematics!"

"And here is your second room mate. His IQ is 150!"

"That's wonderful!" says Albert. "We can discuss physics!"

"And here is your third room mate. His IQ is 100!"

"That's wonderful! We can discuss the latest plays at the theatre!"

Just then another man moves out to capture Albert's hand and shake it.

"I'm your last room mate and I'm sorry, but my IQ is only 70."

Albert smiles back at him and says, "So, where do you think interest rates are headed?"
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Postby cyprusgrump » Sat Oct 18, 2008 6:13 am

An elderly lady receives an e-mail from the son of a deceased (but wealthy) African general, asking whether he could transfer millions of pounds into her bank account in return for a 20% cut.

All the son needs is the sort code and account number.

Not realising she is the victim of a Nigerian 419 fraud, she e-mails back the details.

A couple of minutes later she receives an e-mail back from the general's son: 'Icesave?!' What is this, some sort of scam?"
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Postby cyprusgrump » Sat Oct 18, 2008 6:13 am

How do you define optimism? A banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday.
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Postby cyprusgrump » Sat Oct 18, 2008 6:14 am

Etc.
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Postby SSBubbles » Sat Oct 18, 2008 12:36 pm

Good ones guys! :lol:
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Postby tessintrnc » Sat Oct 18, 2008 1:43 pm

Resolving to surprise her husband, an investment banker's wife pops by his office. She finds him in an unorthodox position, with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitation, he starts dictating, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, credit crunch or no credit crunch, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair!"
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Postby tessintrnc » Sat Oct 18, 2008 1:46 pm

Quote of the day (from a trader): "This is worse than a divorce. I've lost half my net worth and I still have a wife."
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Postby tessintrnc » Sat Oct 18, 2008 1:55 pm

A man went to his bank manager and said: 'I'd like to own a small business. How do I go about it?' 'Simple,' said the bank manager. 'Buy a big one and wait.'
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Postby Floda » Mon Oct 27, 2008 1:25 am

.. :lol:
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