Tim Drayton wrote:denizaksulu wrote:Tim Drayton wrote:Kikapu wrote:Here is something Turkish men do in Turkey that we Turkish Cypriots men would not dare to do anywhere, which is men walking together arm in arm. Nothing Gay about it, it's just what they do in public walking along, specially in small villages. It was the most uncomfortable feeling for me when some male friends put their arms in mine while walking with other friends. This is a man who has lived in the "Gay Capital" of the world for 25 years, San Francisco saying this.!
Does the settlers do this in the north, and if so, has the TC men caught up with the "new fashion" yet..!!
Turkish men in Turkey sometimes also squeeze one anothers' knees or thighs when they sit and chat, usually when exchanging some spicy bit of information. Again, there is nothing gay about it, it is just a way of bonding. Turkish Cypriot culture, in my experience, is not like this. As I have said, it seems less tactile to me. However, Deniz's input suggests that I could be mistaken.
You are not mistaken Tim. I think the 'custom' just died out because of foreign inspired 'homophobia'. As I said, I have not seen this in Cyprus since 1963. It was as you say a 'bonding' of friend. Tactility is a psychological need of every human being. Ourupbringing in those days even prevented young people (couples) walking hand in hand unless you were engaged to get married. Among young men this was common, but nowadays more liberal attitudes to open male /female relationships has negated the need for this male to male 'tactility'. IMHO.
Also we must not forget that we were 'taught' to hold hands at primary school.
From what I have heard about the "old days" in Cyprus, mainly from listening to interviews with elderly people on television, weddings in both Greek Cypriot and Turkish Cypriot villages used to be strictly segregated along sexual lines with the women celebrating indoors and the men celebrating outdoors in the streets. What strikes me is that is how village weddings are conducted today in mainland Turkish villages. In rural Turkey, families go to great lengths to protect the honour of their unmarried female members, and any sort of casual mingling of the sexes is forbidden. Perhaps, in fact, Turkish Cypriot culture was once closer to that of Anatolia, and more recent developments have moved them apart.
We had that too Tim. At the age of 12, I was in love. When I went to Nicosia LTurkish Bots Lyce, I sent a Bayram card to my 'beloved'. She was 11 at the time. I cannot tell you the repurcussions. I was a hunted 'man', by then 15 year old. I cannot say any more.