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[AQ]

Two peanuts walk into a bar.
One was a salted.

A jumper cable walks into a bar.
The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

A sandwich walks into a bar.
The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here."

A Dyslexic man walks into a bra.

A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:
"Pint please, and one for the road."

Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

Man with a strawberry stuck up his bum goes to the doc.
Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it."

"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home'." "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." "Is it common?"
"It's not unusual."

A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only cling film for shorts.
The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I think I've lost an electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

Answer phone message
"....If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key...."

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. He was pulled in by a strong currant.


I went to a seafood disco last week.... and pulled a muscle.

[Novus]

Three men walking down the sidewalk. Two of them walk into a bar.
The third one ducked.

Remember, headaches are all in your head.

Three nuns are flashed by a pervert. First nun has a stroke, the second nun has a stroke and the third one had a heart attack because she couldn't reach it.

In America we park in a driveway, drive on a parkway and can only drive sober on a highway.

[Novus]

...

A Dyslexic man walks into a bra.
...

Ever hear of the dyslexic atheist? He says there is no dog.

[Phill]

A Dyslexic man is on a skiing holiday when he crashes into someone on a sledge, "Oh I am so sorry... I didn't see you, what are you doing?",
the man replies " I am a tabogganist"..... "Oh great, could I have 20 Superkings please?".

[ttoli]

What do you call a fish with no eyes?.............................................................FSH
Two parrots sitting on a perch, one says to the other,'Can you smell fish'?

[prohora]

What do you call a fish with two knees?

twokneefish

[psycho]

What do you call a Deer with no eyes?


No Idea!!

[CBBB]

DOH!

[CBBB]

What do you call a man with a piece of bacon on his head? Hamed.

What do you call a man with two pieces of bacon on his head? Mohamed.

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Cliff.

[Novus]

Noah told all the animals to go forth and multiply, except for the snakes.
The snakes were Adders.