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Here are the 2008 Darwin awards.

Eighth Place.
In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two
feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inchwide
sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.

Seventh Place
A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who 'totally zoned
when he ran', accidentally, jogged off a lOO-foot high cliff on
his daily run.

Sixth Place
While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for
protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair
at the bottom! When it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet
of sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels
trying to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue
workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him.
Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

Fifth Place
Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling
of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when
the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands
free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.

Fourth Place
Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with
friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four
bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.

Third Place
After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the
front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent
on robbing the store. The shop was full of customers and a
uniformed officer was standing at the counter. Upon seeing the
officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up! and fired a
few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer and a clerk
promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their
guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene
by Paramedics.
Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases
in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot
wounds.
Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one
else was hurt.

HONORABLE MENTION
Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving
around at 2 A.M. so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss
out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they
failed to notice the window was closed.

Runnerup
Larry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one
of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from
a local bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew
more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of
the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the
bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope.
Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed
out that a coil of lineman's cable, lay near by. They secured one
end around Bingham's leg and then tied the other to the
bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and
tore his foot off at the ankle.. He miraculously survived his fall
into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen.
Bingham's foot was never located.

AND THE WINNER IS..
Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his
constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than
a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up
pachyderm finally got relief.
Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give
the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast
unloaded. The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected
defecation knocked Mr.Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck
his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200
pounds of dung on top of him.
It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that
proves 'Shit happens'.