Cyprus-Forum.com

[Magnus]

I already know the seven modern sins and can happily say that I have only commited one of them. I wont say which one...

1. Listening to Jazz
2. Playing Jazz
3. Buying Jazz records
4. Coveting your neighbour's Jazz
5. Encouraging the proliferation of Jazz
6. Inflicting Jazz on other people
7. Denigration of Turkishness

what's the matter, Magnus? i get the feeling you don't like jazz?

Well, here's the entry for Jazz in my 'Encyclopaedia Cypriotica':

Jazz is a manifestation of the purest evil in the omniverse, spawned from the depths of Hell itself and inspired by the wailings of the tortured souls that dwell in that most undesirable place. The purpose of Jazz is to inflict pain and misery on anyone who should have the misfortune to encounter it, and the purveyors of Jazz are Satan's minions in disguise.

Some of the most high-ranking demonic spawn have taken human form in order to encourage the proliferation of Jazz, most notably Miles Davis, Herbie Hancock and Charlie Parker.

Any unsuspecting individual who encounters Jazz must have treatment within one hour or their soul will become irreparably corrupted and they will spend enternity in servitude to the Evil One and his dark horde.

The only cure for Jazz, which as stated above can only be applied within an hour of exposure, is an immediate infusion of non-Jazz music and a healthy dose of vitamin church. In the most extreme cases, only the all-powerful Elvis Presley may save the inflicted. If treatment is too late or unsuccessful then euthanasia is entirely justified and may God have mercy on the unfortunate soul.

[perdike]

I already know the seven modern sins and can happily say that I have only commited one of them. I wont say which one...

1. Listening to Jazz
2. Playing Jazz
3. Buying Jazz records
4. Coveting your neighbour's Jazz
5. Encouraging the proliferation of Jazz
6. Inflicting Jazz on other people
7. Denigration of Turkishness

what's the matter, Magnus? i get the feeling you don't like jazz?

Well, here's the entry for Jazz in my 'Encyclopaedia Cypriotica':

Jazz is a manifestation of the purest evil in the omniverse, spawned from the depths of Hell itself and inspired by the wailings of the tortured souls that dwell in that most undesirable place. The purpose of Jazz is to inflict pain and misery on anyone who should have the misfortune to encounter it, and the purveyors of Jazz are Satan's minions in disguise.

Some of the most high-ranking demonic spawn have taken human form in order to encourage the proliferation of Jazz, most notably Miles Davis, Herbie Hancock and Charlie Parker.

Any unsuspecting individual who encounters Jazz must have treatment within one hour or their soul will become irreparably corrupted and they will spend enternity in servitude to the Evil One and his dark horde.

The only cure for Jazz, which as stated above can only be applied within an hour of exposure, is an immediate infusion of non-Jazz music and a healthy dose of vitamin church. In the most extreme cases, only the all-powerful Elvis Presley may save the inflicted. If treatment is too late or unsuccessful then euthanasia is entirely justified and may God have mercy on the unfortunate soul.

Blues-based jazz excepted please.
Intellectual jazz is not jazz, it is a refuge for the alienated, IMHO

[GorillaGal]

I already know the seven modern sins and can happily say that I have only commited one of them. I wont say which one...

1. Listening to Jazz
2. Playing Jazz
3. Buying Jazz records
4. Coveting your neighbour's Jazz
5. Encouraging the proliferation of Jazz
6. Inflicting Jazz on other people
7. Denigration of Turkishness

what's the matter, Magnus? i get the feeling you don't like jazz?

Well, here's the entry for Jazz in my 'Encyclopaedia Cypriotica':

Jazz is a manifestation of the purest evil in the omniverse, spawned from the depths of Hell itself and inspired by the wailings of the tortured souls that dwell in that most undesirable place. The purpose of Jazz is to inflict pain and misery on anyone who should have the misfortune to encounter it, and the purveyors of Jazz are Satan's minions in disguise.

Some of the most high-ranking demonic spawn have taken human form in order to encourage the proliferation of Jazz, most notably Miles Davis, Herbie Hancock and Charlie Parker.

Any unsuspecting individual who encounters Jazz must have treatment within one hour or their soul will become irreparably corrupted and they will spend enternity in servitude to the Evil One and his dark horde.

The only cure for Jazz, which as stated above can only be applied within an hour of exposure, is an immediate infusion of non-Jazz music and a healthy dose of vitamin church. In the most extreme cases, only the all-powerful Elvis Presley may save the inflicted. If treatment is too late or unsuccessful then euthanasia is entirely justified and may God have mercy on the unfortunate soul.

hey! i totally agree.... i don't care for it either. and i grew up with it. my father thinks he is "the Groove Merchant," with makes me the "groove merchant's own jazz related daughter." how embarrassing...........

[GorillaGal]

i'm talking....he introduces himself as "Groove."
get me a barf bag please!

[perdike]

i'm talking....he introduces himself as "Groove."
get me a barf bag please!

OOh,"barf bag". I like that GG. Its just TOO TOO disgusting. We just say sick bag. Barf bag!

Mmmm, can I order some . . there's a few on the Forum regularly spew out barf

[Oracle]

Let's pray they don't play piped Jazz music in Heaven ........ because methinks Magnus is headed that way - (mikako ... not for a long time mehopes) - for failing to commit any Deadly Sins! ...... "Denigrating Turkishness" being a Commandment to be observed

[Magnus]

Blues-based jazz excepted please.
Intellectual jazz is not jazz, it is a refuge for the alienated, IMHO

I looked up 'Intellectual Jazz' in the Encyclopaedia Cypriotica and it states:

There is nothing intellectual about Jazz. See main entry on Jazz.

There doesn't seem to be an entry for 'blues-based Jazz', so I guess it's up to you if you want to take the risk.

hey! i totally agree.... i don't care for it either. and i grew up with it. my father thinks he is "the Groove Merchant," with makes me the "groove merchant's own jazz related daughter." how embarrassing...........

'The Groove Merchant's Daughter'... There's a book in there somewhere...

[tessintrnc]

Here are the proposed Modern, Seven Deadly Sins:


A senior adviser to The Pope has advocated a new list of seven deadly sins:

1. Genetic modification
2. Carrying out experiments on humans
3. Polluting the environment
4. Causing social injustice
5. Causing poverty
6. Becoming obscenely wealthy
7. Taking drugs.

Number 6 is a good one ....... but I wonder how the Vatican itself will get out of that one

I agree, not exactly the path Jesus intended is it? Just a small fraction of the wealth would no doubt find a cure for most diseases in double quick time......................As for the "go forth and multiply" attitude which is thousands of years old - well, don't get me started on that!!!

[perdike]

I already know the seven modern sins and can happily say that I have only commited one of them. I wont say which one...

1. Listening to Jazz
2. Playing Jazz
3. Buying Jazz records
4. Coveting your neighbour's Jazz
5. Encouraging the proliferation of Jazz
6. Inflicting Jazz on other people
7. Denigration of Turkishness

what's the matter, Magnus? i get the feeling you don't like jazz?

Well, here's the entry for Jazz in my 'Encyclopaedia Cypriotica':

Jazz is a manifestation of the purest evil in the omniverse, spawned from the depths of Hell itself and inspired by the wailings of the tortured souls that dwell in that most undesirable place. The purpose of Jazz is to inflict pain and misery on anyone who should have the misfortune to encounter it, and the purveyors of Jazz are Satan's minions in disguise.

Some of the most high-ranking demonic spawn have taken human form in order to encourage the proliferation of Jazz, most notably Miles Davis, Herbie Hancock and Charlie Parker.

Any unsuspecting individual who encounters Jazz must have treatment within one hour or their soul will become irreparably corrupted and they will spend enternity in servitude to the Evil One and his dark horde.

The only cure for Jazz, which as stated above can only be applied within an hour of exposure, is an immediate infusion of non-Jazz music and a healthy dose of vitamin church. In the most extreme cases, only the all-powerful Elvis Presley may save the inflicted. If treatment is too late or unsuccessful then euthanasia is entirely justified and may God have mercy on the unfortunate soul.

Blues-based jazz excepted please.
Intellectual jazz is not jazz, it is a refuge for the alienated, IMHO

Magnus,

What about Basie, Ellington, Sarah Vaughn, Satchmo, Scott Joplin etc etc. Have a soul, man.

[SSBubbles]

All sins are worthy sins and worthy of my attention. You are held to account for all you say or don't say and for all you do or don't do. Huh ... ha ...huh .... ha ....ha

Do I detect a hint of Vincent Price R.I.P? (or wherever!)