Cyprus-Forum.com

[RRichie]

Found this on another site, do you think it is accurate?

How to drive like a Cypriot:

+ Always be on your mobile.

+ If a traffic light is on red, ignore it.

+ If you do have to stop at red, stop with your car all the way over the white line.

+ While at the red light, creep constantly forward.

+ If you're at red behind someone who did stop at the white line (a tourist) blare your horn at them if they don't start moving before the light goes green.

+ At blind junctions with mandatory STOP signs, drive straight out without stopping.

+ Or looking.

+ Ignore all speed limits, they're only for tourists.

+ In areas with mandatory NO OVERTAKING signs, ignore them and overtake. Force the oncoming traffic up onto the pavement or into a ditch.

+ Don't drive along steadily in slow traffic (assuming overtaking is absolutely impossible). Wait for a 10m gap to open up then floor the accelerator like an F1 car off the grid, before stamping on the brakes again to avoid hitting the traffic in front.

+ Buy a left-hand drive car so that you can't see what's coming towards you when you pull out to overtake a bus.

+ Watch the oncoming traffic veer into a ditch when you do pull out.

And this is just from one week's driving over there!

[Magnus]

You forgot: 'If parked on the pavement, pull onto the road whenever you feel like it, ignoring any other traffic or pedestrians'.

[Sotos]

I've been in other countries and I think most of those things happen everywhere a bit more or a bit less. The only thing that I noticed that there are a LOT of Cypriots that do and which is done much less in other countries is this "If you do have to stop at red, stop with your car all the way over the white line." and this "While at the red light, creep constantly forward.".

[Sotos]

You forgot: 'If parked on the pavement, pull onto the road whenever you feel like it, ignoring any other traffic or pedestrians'.

OK, thats another one

[roseandchan]

when you get pulled up for being drunk you must always tell the policeman that you haven't touched a drop.
the hooter is only used for making a noise driving around to celebration football match wins.

[Nikitas]

Just got back from a working visit to Italy, where mature top executives drove in convoy, cars about ten feet from each other, in narrow country lanes, at 140 kmph at night in constant drizzle! If you people find Cyprus scary, try Italy for a bracing experience!

[Magnus]

I was in Athens in January and all the taxi drivers just zip in and out of the traffic as they please, though I suppose this is common to all taxi drivers worldwide. All the drivers (including old ladies) make sure to have the windows wound down so they can shout insults and curses at other drivers. It's brilliant entertainment but I wouldn't fancy driving there myself.

[Z4]

You've missed arm out of window with a Malboro!

[Crivens]

Nah, try that big roundabout in Paris. Or Paris in general. Very scary, and brings it home a bit when the cab driver is pointing and talking to you about where Diana died while talking over his shoulder and talking directly at you for about 10 seconds when you are in the back of the car. Nice.

Top tips in Cyprus:-
1. 17 year olds with small slow cars and big exhausts - Go to any straight road you like after 8pm (3am is tops) and go as fast and loud as you like. No-one cares and Police are on the motorways anyways...
2. Amusingly camp moped owners - Do a wheelie. It impresses the girls for some reason (really). If you find yourself surrounded by lots of other camp moped owners then feel free to let rip on the annoying horn. Everyone will join in and locals will come to the windows to applaud your most impressive and grown up attitude to life
3. Fast car lovers - Buy an RX8. It's fast as hell and doesn't have any problems with Cyprus' stupid duty laws
4. Motorcyclists - Get the loudest damn bike you can and gun it all the bloody time. Everyone loves a *very* loud bike at all hours of the night, police obviously don't give a monkeys, and you look cool sounding like a tractor. While you are at it don't wear a helmet because bikes are very safe, helmets destroy that T2 look you were going for, and hey you are extremely likely to get your head chopped off in an accident anyways
5. Cruisers - Just go up and down the main road all day. Petrol is cheap, no-one cares about the environment here, and everyone loves a jam in a place where there seriously shouldn't be any jams...
6. Parkers - Don't bother just parking 10m away from a store on a sidestreet when you can totally park next to the enterance on the pavement. It's safer, you use less energy, pedestrians don't exist here to walk on the broken pavements, and time is money in this fast pace environment (think London)
7. Roundabouts and junctions - Take your time with these. It's not as if anyone is in a rush. Or just rush out at stupid speeds without looking. One or the other. While you are at it please feel free to pull out at the last moment even though you had plenty of time...
8. Friends - The easiest way to contact friends while driving is to lean out of the side window. Don't worry cruise control should sort things out in an emergency, as is evident from the massive amount of screeching and smashes you can hear every day
9. Money - Everyone can afford a car here! It doesn't matter if 700CYP is a pretty good wage here, you have to have a brand new £50k old man's Merc...
10. Pedestrian crossings - If anyone is using a pedestrian crossing then only screech to an amazing halt if you absolutely have to. Then feel free to shout a torrent of abuse at the crosser. After all no-one really walks in Cyprus so they must be crims or lunatics. Don't forget to leave at high speed if anybody looks like they are going to hit you for being a t**t.
11. Pedestrians - Knowing all you know about the above, then feel free to walk across the road without looking at any point other than an actual proper pedestrian crossing (even when right next to one). After all, the drivers are brilliant here...

Heh, I could go on, but it stops being funny after a while...

Cheer

[roseandchan]

you can drive anywhere when you learnt to drive in london!