> saw a parrot sitting on a little perch.
> It doesn't have any feet or legs. The
> guy said aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what
> happened to this parrot?'>
>
> The parrot said, 'I was born this way.
> I'm a defective parrot.'>
>
> 'Holy crap,' the guy replied. 'You actually
> understood and answered me!'
> >
> 'I got every word,' said the parrot.
> 'I happen to be a highly intelligent thoroughly
> educated bird.'>
>
> 'Oh yeah?' the guy asked, 'Then answer this -
> how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?'
> >
> 'Well,' the parrot said, 'this is very
> embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my
> weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook.
> You can't see it because of my feathers.'
>
> 'Wow,' said the guy. 'You really can
> understand and speak English, can't you?'>
>
> 'Actually, I speak both Spanish and English,
> and I can converse with reasonable
> competence on almost any topic: politics,
> religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm
> especially good at ornithology. You really
> ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion.'>
>
> The guy looked at the $200.00 price tag. 'Sorry,
> but I just can't afford that.'>
>
> 'Pssssssst,' said the parrot, 'I'm defective,
> so the truth is, nobody wants me because I don't
> have any feet. You can probably get me for
> $20; just make the guy an offer!'>
>
> The guy offered $20 and walked out with the parrot.
> Weeks went by. The parrot is sensational.
> He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting,
> he's a great pal, he understands everything,
> he sympathizes, and he's insightful.
> The guy is delighted.
> >
> One day the guy came home from work,
> and the parrot went, 'Psssssssssssst,' and
> motioned him over with one wing. 'I don't know
> if I should tell you this or not, but it's about
> your wife and the postman.'>
>
> 'What are you talking about?' asked the guy.
>
> 'When the postman delivered the mail today,
> your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer
> black nightie.'
>
> 'WHAT???' the guy asked incredulously.
>
> 'THEN what happened?'
>
> 'Well, then the postman came into the
> house and lifted up her nightie and began
> petting her all over,' reported the parrot.>
>
> 'NO!' he exclaimed. 'And she let him???'>
>
> 'Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie! ,
> got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over....'
>
> Then the frantic guy demanded,
> 'THEN WHAT HAPPENED?'
>
> 'Damned if I know. I got an erection
> and fell off my perch!'
