Thoughts About My Country
We all of us have reasons to be proud of our country. The Irish can be very proud of their hospitality and their sense of fun. The Scots can be justifiably proud of their ingenuity and industry. And we English?
We can be proud that a man can sit on a bench on a crowded tube platform with a thick stream of vomit covering the crotch of his three-piece suit and still maintain his dignity. No-one will talk to him. No-one will look at him. Every single person on that platform will maintain the polite fiction that it is perfectly normal for a chap to be out in public with a vomit covered crotch.
And that's despite the fact that he's just made every single one of them late on their journey home.
See there I was, on my journey home from work. The train was packed, but by virtue of the fact that I get on while it's still on its way into the centre I'd managed to get my usual seat. We'd just arrived at Earls Court station when the distinguished looking gentleman sitting opposite me, slumped down in his seat, semi-conscious, and began quietly vomiting over himself. Now I'm often depressed by the selfishness of the modern world, and the extent to which people will ignore suffering, but in this case I needn't have worried, as the woman who'd been sitting beside the gentleman immediately took charge of the situation - which was a bit of a relief to me as it meant that I could carry on reading my newspaper.
After a few seconds he came round, although he was clearly still pretty confused, so the girl at the end of the carriage pulled the emergency alarm to summon the driver. By the time the driver had arrived the gentleman was able to walk under his own steam, so he followed the driver up the aisle - the train might have been packed, but by God those people made room - and out onto the platform, from where various snatches of conversation made their way back into the carriage.
"Are you okay?" ... "Do you want me to call the first aid team?" ... "Is there any vomit on the seat cushion?" ... "We'll have to pull the train out of service then."
At which point a whole chorus of "What????"s erupted from the inhabitants of the carriage. We didn't mind the bloke puking. We didn't mind the train being stopped at the station for the five minutes it took to check him out. We didn't mind that one and a half seats were covered in vomit. We most likely wouldn't have minded if he'd got back onto the train.
But take the train out of service? Kick us all onto the platform, to await the next, already-packed train? Well now we were very upset, and dealt with it in a typically English way, by muttering, disgruntled, to ourselves. An entire eight-carriage heavy-rail subway train put out of action by this:
Well that's today's risk averse society for you!
Anyhow, a few minutes later the next train arrived, and was immediately swamped by the hundreds of people waiting for it. I evaluated the possibility of wedging my head into someone's armpit and decided to wait for the next train after that, on a platform that was now much less crowded.
And that was when I saw him, sitting quietly by himself, upright and calm, on the bench a little way down the platform. Dignified and composed.
Which was perhaps my country's gift to him, which is something I say because the gentleman concerned appeared, by this looks and accent, to be an immigrant to this country; and I mention this not as a negative, but as a positive. People too often see immigration in a negative light, and fail to see the tremendous complement that immigrants do us by choosing our country as the place in all the world that they wish to live, work, and raise their children.
That gentleman could have chosen any train in the whole of the world to vomit on, but he chose to vomit on mine.
And how does that make me feel? It makes me proud to be English, and proud to call this place home.
Proud to be English
33 posts
• Page 1 of 4 • 1, 2, 3, 4
Proud to be English
by AQ » Sat Jun 21, 2008 10:21 am
- AQ
- Member
- Posts: 150
- Joined: Wed Mar 19, 2008 7:44 pm
by Oracle » Sat Jun 21, 2008 11:09 am
Export? .... 
Found this personally rather amusing ....
... and relieved they are changing the name!
Irish women vomit like good English girls
By Ed West .... The Daily Telegraph
I'm in Ireland, where, believe it or not, drink is a bit of a problem. That might not seem like breaking news - but what is different is the way that Irish drinking patterns have gone through a weird process of Anglicisation.
The Irish used to drink in inter-generational groups, which has a civilising effect, while female drunkenness was frowned upon, as were overt displays of intoxication.
Now Irish women vomit at bus stops like good English girls, teenagers booze in packs, and alcohol-related violence has rocketed. Drunken Irish football fans even shout in mockney accents picked up from English TV, which carry a certain chav chic.
What the Irish have forgotten is that sobriety is part of their heritage. The 19th-century temperance movement had a nationalist undercurrent. Its slogan, "Ireland sober is Ireland free", was so successful that even now the country has the highest proportion of teetotallers in Europe.
But that is changing. Ireland is now free, rich, drunk and Anglicised: English shops dominate the high street; that oxymoron, English celebrity culture, is everywhere; British tabloids have taken over; English football is the new religion; and Tesco has "pacified" the country way beyond Gladstone's wildest dreams.
This new Anglo-Irishness reflects a self-consciously vulgar New Brit view of the world in which drunkenness is something it never was before - shameless. Irish booze intake trebled between 1960 and 2000; among EU nations, Ireland is behind only Luxembourg, a glorified duty?free shop.
Last week, the Catholic Church launched a counter-attack. Ireland's new cardinal, Dr Seán Brady, the Archbishop of Armagh, put the case well: "One of the great myths in our culture today is the belief that you can only be happy when you can do what you want, when you want, as you want."
Perhaps it was rather unfortunate timing that the Irish dumped Catholicism just as they embraced capitalism. Free-market economics works only when held in check by boring old Christian ideas such as restraint and deferred gratification. Without these, consumerism just leads to suicidal excess or short-term retail therapy. England failed to export Protestantism to the Emerald Isle. It has had far better luck with nihilism.
Still, at least the Irish have never taken to Stella Artois as much as the Brits. Now the Belgian brewers have signalled the end of an era by dropping the "Stella" from its name, as well as introducing a new, lower?strength beer, Peeterman (only four per cent to Stella's 5.2 per cent).
"Wife beater", as Stella is affectionately known, has become so associated with drunken violence that lawyers dealing with assault charges jokingly refer to a "Stella defence".
Stella became a victim of its own success: like Hackett and Burberry, its expensive image attracted the yobs it didn't want to be associated with. For a while, it was happy to take the yob pound, and became the biggest-selling lager during the mid-1990s. But sales fell by five per cent last year. Pub landlords have found that removing the Stella pump has the same effect as playing classical music at train stations - all the idiots leave. The brand took a pre-emptive step in the summer by withdrawing the drink from some downmarket pubs, giving as its official reason that "the pouring ritual is not being observed correctly", as if it were some delicate Japanese tea ceremony.
Of course, it is not Stella's fault that the British cannot handle their drink.
Found this personally rather amusing ....
... and relieved they are changing the name!
Irish women vomit like good English girls
By Ed West .... The Daily Telegraph
I'm in Ireland, where, believe it or not, drink is a bit of a problem. That might not seem like breaking news - but what is different is the way that Irish drinking patterns have gone through a weird process of Anglicisation.
The Irish used to drink in inter-generational groups, which has a civilising effect, while female drunkenness was frowned upon, as were overt displays of intoxication.
Now Irish women vomit at bus stops like good English girls, teenagers booze in packs, and alcohol-related violence has rocketed. Drunken Irish football fans even shout in mockney accents picked up from English TV, which carry a certain chav chic.
What the Irish have forgotten is that sobriety is part of their heritage. The 19th-century temperance movement had a nationalist undercurrent. Its slogan, "Ireland sober is Ireland free", was so successful that even now the country has the highest proportion of teetotallers in Europe.
But that is changing. Ireland is now free, rich, drunk and Anglicised: English shops dominate the high street; that oxymoron, English celebrity culture, is everywhere; British tabloids have taken over; English football is the new religion; and Tesco has "pacified" the country way beyond Gladstone's wildest dreams.
This new Anglo-Irishness reflects a self-consciously vulgar New Brit view of the world in which drunkenness is something it never was before - shameless. Irish booze intake trebled between 1960 and 2000; among EU nations, Ireland is behind only Luxembourg, a glorified duty?free shop.
Last week, the Catholic Church launched a counter-attack. Ireland's new cardinal, Dr Seán Brady, the Archbishop of Armagh, put the case well: "One of the great myths in our culture today is the belief that you can only be happy when you can do what you want, when you want, as you want."
Perhaps it was rather unfortunate timing that the Irish dumped Catholicism just as they embraced capitalism. Free-market economics works only when held in check by boring old Christian ideas such as restraint and deferred gratification. Without these, consumerism just leads to suicidal excess or short-term retail therapy. England failed to export Protestantism to the Emerald Isle. It has had far better luck with nihilism.
Still, at least the Irish have never taken to Stella Artois as much as the Brits. Now the Belgian brewers have signalled the end of an era by dropping the "Stella" from its name, as well as introducing a new, lower?strength beer, Peeterman (only four per cent to Stella's 5.2 per cent).
"Wife beater", as Stella is affectionately known, has become so associated with drunken violence that lawyers dealing with assault charges jokingly refer to a "Stella defence".
Stella became a victim of its own success: like Hackett and Burberry, its expensive image attracted the yobs it didn't want to be associated with. For a while, it was happy to take the yob pound, and became the biggest-selling lager during the mid-1990s. But sales fell by five per cent last year. Pub landlords have found that removing the Stella pump has the same effect as playing classical music at train stations - all the idiots leave. The brand took a pre-emptive step in the summer by withdrawing the drink from some downmarket pubs, giving as its official reason that "the pouring ritual is not being observed correctly", as if it were some delicate Japanese tea ceremony.
Of course, it is not Stella's fault that the British cannot handle their drink.
-
Oracle - Leading Contributor
- Posts: 23507
- Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 11:13 am
- Location: Anywhere but...
by mountainman » Sat Jun 21, 2008 1:27 pm
AQ wrote:In the words of 10cc.
I don't like Stella, I love it!
I thought that was cricket
-
mountainman - Contributor
- Posts: 336
- Joined: Sat Apr 29, 2006 6:38 am
- Location: Limassol
by Eliko » Sat Jun 21, 2008 1:37 pm
In order to fully appreciate the companionship of 'Stella' one must be prepared to analyse the advantages of such an association.
If one allows oneself the luxury of savouring the delights and appreciating the euphoric rewards of close contact with 'Stella', one will soon find that life (prior to such association) was a far less exhilarating experience.
'Stella' is sophisicated, attractive, very gentle on the taste buds (when caressed in the gentle manner that one such as 'Stella' should be) and is quite demure (if properly treated).
However, incorrect understanding of the powers that 'Stella' possesses, can render the unwary quite helpless when tempted by over-indulgence, by all means one should relish the feelings of intoxication when under the hypnotic spell of the beauty so abundantly inherent in 'Stella', the danger lies in the assumption that one has control over 'Stella', this can be a serious error in judgement and the consequences of such may produce surprisingly strong reactions from the one so misused (or misjudged).
The formation of 'Stella's' unique qualities, were no simple matter, it took many years to perfect and introduce 'Stella' to the more discerning members of those who are able to perceive perfection in it's truest form.
Small wonder that 'Stella' now wishes to disassociate with the decadence that has recently been ascribed to the name 'Stella' due to ignorance and the aforementioned abuses performed by those who know little of the true value of 'Stella'.
Therefore (particularly to the GENTLEMEN among us) I propose a toast, "To Stella, long may we be delighted by the unique and irresistible charm we have ALL had the good fortune to be sprinkled with, due to our contact with such a one, CHEERS 'Stella'".
If one allows oneself the luxury of savouring the delights and appreciating the euphoric rewards of close contact with 'Stella', one will soon find that life (prior to such association) was a far less exhilarating experience.
'Stella' is sophisicated, attractive, very gentle on the taste buds (when caressed in the gentle manner that one such as 'Stella' should be) and is quite demure (if properly treated).
However, incorrect understanding of the powers that 'Stella' possesses, can render the unwary quite helpless when tempted by over-indulgence, by all means one should relish the feelings of intoxication when under the hypnotic spell of the beauty so abundantly inherent in 'Stella', the danger lies in the assumption that one has control over 'Stella', this can be a serious error in judgement and the consequences of such may produce surprisingly strong reactions from the one so misused (or misjudged).
The formation of 'Stella's' unique qualities, were no simple matter, it took many years to perfect and introduce 'Stella' to the more discerning members of those who are able to perceive perfection in it's truest form.
Small wonder that 'Stella' now wishes to disassociate with the decadence that has recently been ascribed to the name 'Stella' due to ignorance and the aforementioned abuses performed by those who know little of the true value of 'Stella'.
Therefore (particularly to the GENTLEMEN among us) I propose a toast, "To Stella, long may we be delighted by the unique and irresistible charm we have ALL had the good fortune to be sprinkled with, due to our contact with such a one, CHEERS 'Stella'".
-
Eliko - Main Contributor
- Posts: 3068
- Joined: Tue Oct 03, 2006 2:48 pm
- Location: Cyprus
by Bill » Sat Jun 21, 2008 2:39 pm
Eliko wrote:In order to fully appreciate the companionship of 'Stella' one must be prepared to analyse the advantages of such an association.
If one allows oneself the luxury of savouring the delights and appreciating the euphoric rewards of close contact with 'Stella', one will soon find that life (prior to such association) was a far less exhilarating experience.
'Stella' is sophisicated, attractive, very gentle on the taste buds (when caressed in the gentle manner that one such as 'Stella' should be) and is quite demure (if properly treated).
However, incorrect understanding of the powers that 'Stella' possesses, can render the unwary quite helpless when tempted by over-indulgence, by all means one should relish the feelings of intoxication when under the hypnotic spell of the beauty so abundantly inherent in 'Stella', the danger lies in the assumption that one has control over 'Stella', this can be a serious error in judgement and the consequences of such may produce surprisingly strong reactions from the one so misused (or misjudged).
The formation of 'Stella's' unique qualities, were no simple matter, it took many years to perfect and introduce 'Stella' to the more discerning members of those who are able to perceive perfection in it's truest form.
Small wonder that 'Stella' now wishes to disassociate with the decadence that has recently been ascribed to the name 'Stella' due to ignorance and the aforementioned abuses performed by those who know little of the true value of 'Stella'.
Therefore (particularly to the GENTLEMEN among us) I propose a toast, "To Stella, long may we be delighted by the unique and irresistible charm we have ALL had the good fortune to be sprinkled with, due to our contact with such a one, CHEERS 'Stella'".
I think the original post was better ~ to much Stella makes you sick
Bill ~~ O's best friend ~ lying maggot ~~~~~
- Bill
- Regular Contributor
- Posts: 1903
- Joined: Tue May 16, 2006 10:58 am
- Location: ~ Sunny South East Coast of Cyprus
by tessintrnc » Sat Jun 21, 2008 2:42 pm
Bill wrote:Eliko wrote:In order to fully appreciate the companionship of 'Stella' one must be prepared to analyse the advantages of such an association.
If one allows oneself the luxury of savouring the delights and appreciating the euphoric rewards of close contact with 'Stella', one will soon find that life (prior to such association) was a far less exhilarating experience.
'Stella' is sophisicated, attractive, very gentle on the taste buds (when caressed in the gentle manner that one such as 'Stella' should be) and is quite demure (if properly treated).
However, incorrect understanding of the powers that 'Stella' possesses, can render the unwary quite helpless when tempted by over-indulgence, by all means one should relish the feelings of intoxication when under the hypnotic spell of the beauty so abundantly inherent in 'Stella', the danger lies in the assumption that one has control over 'Stella', this can be a serious error in judgement and the consequences of such may produce surprisingly strong reactions from the one so misused (or misjudged).
The formation of 'Stella's' unique qualities, were no simple matter, it took many years to perfect and introduce 'Stella' to the more discerning members of those who are able to perceive perfection in it's truest form.
Small wonder that 'Stella' now wishes to disassociate with the decadence that has recently been ascribed to the name 'Stella' due to ignorance and the aforementioned abuses performed by those who know little of the true value of 'Stella'.
Therefore (particularly to the GENTLEMEN among us) I propose a toast, "To Stella, long may we be delighted by the unique and irresistible charm we have ALL had the good fortune to be sprinkled with, due to our contact with such a one, CHEERS 'Stella'".
I think the original post was better ~ to much Stella makes you sick
Bill ~~ O's best friend ~ lying maggot ~~~~~
-
tessintrnc - Regular Contributor
- Posts: 2743
- Joined: Thu Jan 11, 2007 10:17 am
- Location: Ozanköy
33 posts
• Page 1 of 4 • 1, 2, 3, 4
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests
© 2002 - 2015 Cyprus-Forum.com
