The manager of Liverpool FC sends scouts out round the World looking
for a new striker to hopefully win Liverpool the title. One of his
scouts informs him of a young Iraqi striker who he thinks will turn out
to be a true superstar. So the manager flies to Iraq to watch him and
is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to Anfield. Two
weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down at home to Man Utd with only twenty
minutes left, and Liverpool's manager gives the young Iraqi striker the
nod to go on.
The lad is a sensation, scores five goals in twenty minutes and wins
the game for Liverpool. The fans are delighted, the players and coaches
are delighted and the media love the new star. When he comes off the
pitch he phones his Mum to tell her about his first day in English
football.
'Hi Mum, guess what?' he says. 'I played for twenty minutes today, we
were 4-0 down but I scored five and we won. Everybody loves me, the
fans, the players and the media, they all love me.'
'Great,' says his Mum, 'now let me tell you about my day. Your father
got shot in the street, your sister and I were raped and beaten and
your brother has joined a gang of looters, while you were having a
great time.'
The young lad is very upset. 'What can I say Mum, but I'm so sorry'.
'Sorry?!?' says his Mum. 'It's your f*cking fault that we moved to
Liverpool in the first place!'
