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[bill cobbett]

Game 3 - A Cypriot Sketch to which scenes can be added.

Act 1

Scene 1

Location. Meeting Room at the Ledra Palace. Pres X and his aides are sat on one side of the negotiating table, on the other side there is a row of empty chairs.

Pres X (looks up at the clock and sighs)

“Kirialaison, where are they? We’ve been waiting for two hours. Are you sure we gave them the right time ?

Chief Aide

Oh yes, Your Excellency. We definitely told them today.

Pres X

What time did you tell them ?

Chief Aide

Time, Your Excellency ? Well we didn’t tell them a time. We
told them to come along today.

Pres X

Christos kai Panayia! Do they at least know where to come ?

Chief Aide

Oh yes Your Excellency, We even gave them directions. From Kyrenia keep straight on and turn right where the old 7-Up factory used to be.

Pres X

Where the old 7-Up factory used to be ? Etatsan mou din! How are they supposed to know where the old factory used to be, they've never been south. Thea mou, when they asked me whether I wanted to be President of the Island, I thought they meant Cuba.

( Knock on the door and Major Rupert Blenkinsop-Smythe - a UN mediator - comes in )

Major RBS

Buenos Dias Your Excellency old boy. We hear that President Talat is still in Buenos Aires.

Pres X

Buenos Airies ! President ! ? Alos vlakas! Major, this is Cyprus, not the Falklands and when I saw my old comrade Gordon Bennett in London, he assured me that his government only recognised me as President.

Major RBS

Begging your pardon, Your Excellency, old chap. Got confused with my last posting. I meant to say that Mr T is still in Kirne, er I mean Kyrenia. I am just toodling off to get him.

Scene 2

Location. A dimly lit back room in “gentleman's club” in Kirne (oops, sorry I mean occupied Kyrenia). In the room are Mr T, two barely dressed ladies and a goat. There’s a knock on the door and Major RBS and Mr T’s aide walk in.

Major RBS

Yiassas, er I mean Yalo, er, alo, President Talat Your Excellency old bean.

Mr T

President Talat, has a good ring to it. President Talat Ataturk, yes, I like that.

Major RBS

Your Excellency. You’ll remember that we have a meeting with Pres, no, with Mr X today.

Mr T

Oh yes, give me a minute and we’ll go. I suppose I ought to take a present, yes a goodwill present. that would look good on the media. Perhaps Mr X would like the girls or do you think he’d prefer the goat ?

Mr T’s Aide ( whispers something in his ear)

Mr T

Oh yes, quite. Regretfully Major I have to withdraw the offer of the girls and the goat. It might set a precedent, who knows what else I’ll have to give them for nothing.

Major RBS

Well, shall we wander off... and er about the goat Your Excellency...



They set off towards Nicosia


Any aspiring writers ( or others ) want to contribute a scene or two ?

[roseandchan]

lol bill, love it, can't concentrate right now to write a more than a few words as hubby is playing bob the builder next to me.