Cyprus-Forum.com

[humanist]

Hi everyone, I feel a bit bored with the Cypro so I thought why not learn about Cyprus life so Domestic Violence came to mind. So I thought I'd find out how you perceive it and what sort of numbers per capita apply to RoC and trnc, if you like to contribute go ahead. cheers

[Oracle]

Humanist I would have thought that because of the "extended family" tradition here in Cyprus domestic violence would be less rife i.e. either harder to conceal or partnerships receiving more help.

There is a healthy attitude to arguing then putting it all behind you here, which must diffuse the atmosphere that may need to prevail ...

But I am not a sociologist and I guess someone will say Human nature being so complex ... there are so many issues to consider about nurture, abuses etc.

So I shall stop posting just for the sake of relieving my obsessive-compulsive writing disorder ....

[tessintrnc]

I think that the true figures would be very hard to come by purely because of the shame involved. The culture is (for many here) that the man is the head of the house and therefore sees it as his "right" to "discipline" those within it. A recent report in the paper (couple of mths ago I think) worryingly reports that as many as 1 in 3 women have suffered. The report went on to say severe beatings are not the norm (thank God) but slapping, hair pulling and pushing ARE the norm in many households. My solution? to be honest, I don't know. It is hard in any society to be a single mother, and cope with all the stigma that is attached. Educate the men? Yes of course, but this should start within the home with the male child. I have seen many a little "prince" speak to his mother like dirt - and the doting mother merely shrugs it off. Only last week a 4 - 5 year boy told his mother she was an "idiot" (in the supermarket) for picking up the "wrong" cereal !!!!!
Tess

[Bill]

In my large circle of Cypriot friends there is quite a high percentage affected by domestic violence both physical and mental .

What makes it so sad is the women are prepared to accept it ~ there are various reasons for this ranging from " I won't leave him because of the kids" ~ "My family will consider I have failed if I tell them I have problems " ~ I'm to ashamed to admit I have problems" etc etc.

Luckily most of the younger end will not stand this shit and leave but the 35 and upwards age group seem to want to cling on to a relationship no matter how nasty it turns out .

I shall be visiting a small village near Pissouri this afternoon and the next door neighbour of the people I'm visiting is a classic example.

She goes out to work to support the family home whilst he spends his earnings on a Bulgarian girlfriend ~
She has known about this for years and the guy actually makes no secret about where he is going every evening~ she cooks for him and washes his clothes but drew the line regarding sex ~ that's where the violence comes in as he also demands that as she is his wife he should enjoy that as well ~ he often has the cheek to ask for money to see his girlfriend and is pretty violent if he doesn't get what he wants ~ there have been lots of occasions where there has been no food in the house and his answer is " I'll eat somewhere else".

Most of the village helps if they can but as there are other families in the village in the same situation its often difficult.

As I know her more than the others I often help when needed and do a shop for her ~ I did a big shop for her last Christmas and on one occasion late last year when she was reduced to tears as she was only half way through the month and had no money left for food .

As I've mentioned there are lots of families in this situation mostly those in village environments ~ I can't really grasp why the women don't do something positive about it but it's their decision and they have to suffer the consequences.

Bill ~ always willing to go shopping for someone in real need

[miltiades]

Many Cypriots have fallen head over heels for the " charm" of foreign women to the detriment of their own wife and family . Such behaviour is contemptible , unfortunately for the Cypriot wife with a couple of kids to bring up her options are limited. It seems to me that the Cypriot society instead of strongly condemning such behaviour on the contrary it considers such misdemeanors as part of life.
Lets hope that the younger women will put their foot down with a firm HAND and let their spouses know that they will not tolerate infidelity and poutana chasing !!!