A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a Xmas fancy dress
party. He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg,
so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem.
A few days later he receives a parcel with a note:
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a Pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will
cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a
Pirate.
The man is offended that the outfit emphasizes his disability, so he
writes a letter of complaint. A week passes and he receives another
parcel and note:
Dear Sir,
Sorry about the previous parcel. Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The
long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will
really look the part.
The man is really incandescent with rage now, because the company has gone
from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head. So
he writes a really strong letter of complaint. A few days later he gets a
very small parcel from the company with the accompanying letter:
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup.
We suggest you pour the tin of Golden Syrup over your bald head, stick
your wooden leg up your a*se and go as a toffee apple.