Cyprus-Forum.com

[cannedmoose]

Nice article from Cyprus Mail today:

Opinion - Lessons learned two years on

EXACTLY two years ago today, we watched stunned as the authorities in the north opened the checkpoints, allowing Greek and Turkish Cypriots to cross from one side to the other after 29 years of near-hermetical isolation. Among the joyous crowds that mingled around the Ledra Palace was a sense of euphoria, a conviction that the wall was at last coming down, that the policies of a generation were falling apart.

Among our politicians, the reaction was far less enthusiastic. All were stunned by a decision that went against everything they had been programmed to expect. The frenzied behind-the-scenes briefing to discourage Greek Cypriots from crossing failed spectacularly, as thousands queued at a pseudo border to show their passports to a pseudo police officer stamping illegal visa forms.

Of course, the wall did not come down, Cyprus was not reunited, and the old guard of politicians is still in place – at least on this side of the Green Line. Though tens of thousands did cross in those first weeks, the flow is now greatly reduced, mainly restricted to committed peaceniks, inveterate gamblers and religious pilgrims.

Still, for all the disappointment to those who expected more, the opening of the checkpoints has invariably changed our lives and our perceptions of the (common?) future. Ironically, even the government now points to the fact that the mingling of the populations proved wrong the dire Denktash warnings that the two sides could not coexist peacefully.

Whether we have crossed or not, most of us now accept that the Other is not a monster waiting to slaughter our children and rape our wives, but an ordinary person, with a job, a family, debts, a banal life of everyday highs and lows – just like us.

What’s more, those who have crossed have had the courage to confront the fact that the places they left behind have little in common with the sepia memories so carefully preserved.

For as long as we could not see, we could still dream. That is no longer an option, injecting a dose of realism into people’s vision of the future that was absent until two years ago.

Many have realised they are not going to leave their white collar job and city apartment to go back and tend their father’s fields in a crumbling God-forsaken village. For some that has translated into a greater willingness to compromise, as they step back from the emotional tie to an ancestral property. For others, it has made them realise that they have nothing (and want nothing) in common with the other side, feeding a still often unspoken acceptance of partition as a solution.

Still many seek refuge in the platitudes of a political discourse that seeks to preserve our formaldehyde dream. For now, many prefer to keep the wool over their eyes. But it’s been harder since the barbed wire parted and it becomes harder with every day that passes.

Copyright © Cyprus Mail 2005

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Does this ring true?

[insan]

I had a peaceful coexistence and partnership with a TC until I realized he cheated with me, stole my money and tried to dominate me. Now we don't talk anymore. Our partnership and peaceful coexistence lasted just three years. He many times attemted to appology for all the mistakes he had done. Furthermore he admitted that his mother forced him to do those things to me but I couldn't have forgiven him, yet. I'm still hearing from my friends that he has still been strongly under his mother's influence. It is said that he had planned to do business with partnership of his mother. I many times saw them working together.

[cannedmoose]

I thought you are a TC insan?

Although, looking at your avatar, maybe you're really a Swedish woman

[Saint Jimmy]

looking at your avatar

[insan]

I thought you are a TC insan?

Although, looking at your avatar, maybe you're really a Swedish woman

She is my MM.

Yes I'm a TC. What made you think the otherwise?

[Saint Jimmy]

I had a peaceful coexistence and partnership with a TC until I realized he cheated with me, stole my money and tried to dominate me. Now we don't talk anymore. Our partnership and peaceful coexistence lasted just three years. He many times attemted to appology for all the mistakes he had done. Furthermore he admitted that his mother forced him to do those things to me but I couldn't have forgiven him, yet. I'm still hearing from my friends that he has still been strongly under his mother's influence. It is said that he had planned to do business with partnership of his mother. I many times saw them working together.

Βut I think there is a fundamental difference now.
He doesn't want to live with his mother any more, like he demanded back then. Working with her is more than enough for him now. And I really think it shouldn't bother you, as you work with your mother, too.

Am I following the analogy well?

[insan]

Βut I think there is a fundamental difference now.

I don't think there's a fundamental difference now.

He doesn't want to live with his mother any more, like he demanded back then.

He always liked to live with his mother and even he thinks that his existence depends upon his mother's strength. Currently with a great help of his mother he joined the European business club. However I also wished to join the European business club and I too asked my mother to help me to join this club but my mother couldn't manage to convince the other members of this club to accept my memebership. My ex-partner tell me that "the only way for you to join this club is to be my apprentice." I rejected of course.

Working with her is more than enough for him now. And I really think it shouldn't bother you, as you work with your mother, too.

I don't bother him working with his mother but he is always trying to hide that he has close relationships with his mother. He has a weird, arrogant personality. On the other hand I could have never had such strong relationships with my mother. My mother has always had some mental disorders and financial problems. Besides, my mother couldn't have had stable and healthy relationships with the other members of the business club. His mother has been the member of the business club for 25 years. She has an influence on some other members of the business club. Now he, his mother and the friends of his mother exerting huge effort to make us accept their rules. Their stance really makes me sick. I think I'm losing my calm and soon will prepare myself to retaliate how they treat me.

Am I following the analogy well?

Not bad but you still couldn't have caught the point.

[Kifeas]

I don't bother him working with his mother but he is always trying to hide that he has close relationships with his mother. He has a weird, arrogant personality.

So since you are not bother that he works with his mother, why then you are so concerned by the fact, according to you, that he is trying to hide it from you. Why does it make his personality a weird and arrogant one?

On the other hand I could have never had such strong relationships with my mother. My mother has always had some mental disorders and financial problems. Besides, my mother couldn't have had stable and healthy relationships with the other members of the business club.

Well that should be a problem that you and your mother should sort out. If she has mental disorders and financial problems, why is it the fault of the other guy? You should instead convince your mother to seek some treatment or at least close her into a psychiatric clinic, instead of blaming your ex-partner.

His mother has been the member of the business club for 25 years. She has an influence on some other members of the business club. Now he, his mother and the friends of his mother exerting huge effort to make us accept their rules.

Which rules they force you to accept?

Their stance really makes me sick. I think I'm losing my calm and soon will prepare myself to retaliate how they treat me.

How do they treat you? How do you plan to retaliate?

[Viewpoint]

For others, it has made them realise that they have nothing (and want nothing) in common with the other side, feeding a still often unspoken acceptance of partition as a solution.

Rings true for me, this feeling will increase will time as crossing have dropped to a trickle and will only be tourists in a couple of years time. Time to accept the current situation, we have been 2 seperate countries for 31 years.

[insan]

Kifeas, since you still insist on playing the angel and put all the blame on other side; it's not possible to reach a muttually acceptable point. I forgot to mention that my friend and his mother has an incureable ultra ....-fobia, selfishness and irredentist mentality.