Cyprus-Forum.com

[denizaksulu]

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena the wonder dog at Tescos and was about to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an
elephant?

So since I'm retired, with little to do, on impulse, I told
her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the 'Purina
Diet' again and added that although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital
last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I woke up in an
intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to
mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me. I told her NO; and that I stepped off a kerb to sniff an
Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was
laughing so hard!

Tescos won't let me shop there
anymore.

[zan]

Serves you right for being sarcastic... My wife is wonderful at those "State the obvious" questions.

"Are you alright" when I am on the floor in agony after sticking a screwdriver in my hand.


I like the one with the lorry driver that got stuck under a low bridge. A cocky yound police man decides to take the piss and asks, so every one can hear, "Stuck are WE" ?.......The lorry driver says angrily..." NO! I was just delivering this bridge and got lost".....

[denizaksulu]

[quote="zan"]:lol: Serves you right for being sarcastic... My wife is wonderful at those "State the obvious" questions.

"Are you alright" when I am on the floor in agony after sticking a screwdriver in my hand.


I like the one with the lorry driver that got stuck under a low bridge. A cocky yound police man decides to take the piss and asks, so every one can hear, "Stuck are WE" ?.......The lorry driver says angrily..." NO! I was just delivering this bridge and got lost".....



[/quote]


I bet the bobby wasnt too pleased.

[webbo]

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena the wonder dog at Tescos and was about to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an
elephant?

So since I'm retired, with little to do, on impulse, I told
her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the 'Purina
Diet' again and added that although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital
last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I woke up in an
intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to
mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me. I told her NO; and that I stepped off a kerb to sniff an
Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was
laughing so hard!

Tescos won't let me shop there
anymore.

Never mind D, you can always try Asda or whatever!

Bubbles x

[denizaksulu]

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena the wonder dog at Tescos and was about to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an
elephant?

So since I'm retired, with little to do, on impulse, I told
her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the 'Purina
Diet' again and added that although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital
last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I woke up in an
intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to
mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me. I told her NO; and that I stepped off a kerb to sniff an
Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was
laughing so hard!

Tescos won't let me shop there
anymore.

Never mind D, you can always try Asda or whatever!

Bubbles x

ASDA? I'd rather starve!!! Its Waitrose and Harrods for me, I'm afraid. (kidding of course)

[webbo]

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena the wonder dog at Tescos and was about to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an
elephant?

So since I'm retired, with little to do, on impulse, I told
her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the 'Purina
Diet' again and added that although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital
last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I woke up in an
intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to
mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me. I told her NO; and that I stepped off a kerb to sniff an
Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was
laughing so hard!

Tescos won't let me shop there
anymore.

Never mind D, you can always try Asda or whatever!

Bubbles x

ASDA? I'd rather starve!!! Its Waitrose and Harrods for me, I'm afraid. (kidding of course)

Well.......................... I was actually going to type Waitrose but no idea why I opted for Asda - easier I suppose!!

B x

[denizaksulu]

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena the wonder dog at Tescos and was about to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an
elephant?

So since I'm retired, with little to do, on impulse, I told
her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the 'Purina
Diet' again and added that although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital
last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I woke up in an
intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to
mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me. I told her NO; and that I stepped off a kerb to sniff an
Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was
laughing so hard!

Tescos won't let me shop there
anymore.

Never mind D, you can always try Asda or whatever!

Bubbles x

ASDA? I'd rather starve!!! Its Waitrose and Harrods for me, I'm afraid. (kidding of course)

Well.......................... I was actually going to type Waitrose but no idea why I opted for Asda - easier I suppose!!

B x

I prefer the other two. But with the increasing prices, soon I may as well go to ASDA (even though I hate their queues.) Yes, I went but just the once (promise).

[webbo]

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena the wonder dog at Tescos and was about to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an
elephant?

So since I'm retired, with little to do, on impulse, I told
her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the 'Purina
Diet' again and added that although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital
last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I woke up in an
intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to
mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me. I told her NO; and that I stepped off a kerb to sniff an
Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was
laughing so hard!

Tescos won't let me shop there
anymore.

Never mind D, you can always try Asda or whatever!

Bubbles x

ASDA? I'd rather starve!!! Its Waitrose and Harrods for me, I'm afraid. (kidding of course)

Well.......................... I was actually going to type Waitrose but no idea why I opted for Asda - easier I suppose!!

B x

I prefer the other two. But with the increasing prices, soon I may as well go to ASDA (even though I hate their queues.) Yes, I went but just the once (promise).

Yeah! Yeah! Whatever!

bubbles x

[denizaksulu]

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena the wonder dog at Tescos and was about to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an
elephant?

So since I'm retired, with little to do, on impulse, I told
her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the 'Purina
Diet' again and added that although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital
last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I woke up in an
intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to
mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me. I told her NO; and that I stepped off a kerb to sniff an
Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was
laughing so hard!

Tescos won't let me shop there
anymore.

Never mind D, you can always try Asda or whatever!

Bubbles x

ASDA? I'd rather starve!!! Its Waitrose and Harrods for me, I'm afraid. (kidding of course)

Well.......................... I was actually going to type Waitrose but no idea why I opted for Asda - easier I suppose!!

B x

I prefer the other two. But with the increasing prices, soon I may as well go to ASDA (even though I hate their queues.) Yes, I went but just the once (promise).

Yeah! Yeah! Whatever!

bubbles x

Am I bovvered? Whatever!! too.

[webbo]

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena the wonder dog at Tescos and was about to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an
elephant?

So since I'm retired, with little to do, on impulse, I told
her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the 'Purina
Diet' again and added that although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital
last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I woke up in an
intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to
mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me. I told her NO; and that I stepped off a kerb to sniff an
Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was
laughing so hard!

Tescos won't let me shop there
anymore.

Never mind D, you can always try Asda or whatever!

Bubbles x

ASDA? I'd rather starve!!! Its Waitrose and Harrods for me, I'm afraid. (kidding of course)

Well.......................... I was actually going to type Waitrose but no idea why I opted for Asda - easier I suppose!!

B x

I prefer the other two. But with the increasing prices, soon I may as well go to ASDA (even though I hate their queues.) Yes, I went but just the once (promise).

Yeah! Yeah! Whatever!

bubbles x

Am I bovvered? Whatever!! too.

Obviously! Why else reply? Whatever!

Bubbles x