1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot
did something that can only inspire wonder.
He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again.
This time it worked.
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting
machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company.
The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men
to have a look for himself.
He tried the machine and he also lost a finger.
The chef's claim was approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had
taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped.
Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus
stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride.
He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the
staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre
fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
5. A Texas teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
wounds received from an oncoming train.
When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police
that he was simply trying to see how close he could get
his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change
When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and
asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly
provided.
The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill
on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer: $15.
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly.
He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store
window, grab some booze, and run.
So he lifted the concrete cinder block and heaved it over his head at the
window.
The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head,
knocking him unconscious.
The liquor store window was made of high impact Plexiglas.
The whole event was caught on video tape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store,
a man grabbed her purse and ran.
The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able
to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher.
They put him in the car and drove back to the store.
The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand
there for a positive ID.
To which he replied, as he positively identified the lady, 'Yes, officer, that's her.
That's the lady I stole the purse from.'
9. The Ann Arbor Michigan News crime column reported that a man walked
into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion
rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated
walked away.
******THE 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a
Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at
the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near
spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying
to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage
tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges,
saying that it was the best laugh he'd had in a very long time.
