Cyprus-Forum.com

[Jerry]

I thought I would share these with you, sent from the USA, so if you don't find them amusing do what most Cypriots do : blame the Yanks.



I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.
Then it hit me.

Police were called to a day care center where a
three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side
was cut off? He's all right now.

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table
was Sir Cumference.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and
got a little behind in his work.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes take
debate.

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison
was a small medium at large.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He
became a hardened criminal

Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be
charged with stalking.

We'll never run out of math teachers because
they always multiply.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

The math professor went crazy with the
blackboard. He did a number on it.

The professor discovered that her theory of
earthquakes was on s haky ground.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge

If you take a laptop computer for a run you
could jog your memory.

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and
nail.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

A will is a dead giveaway.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a
banana.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it's yo ur vote that counts; in
feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

&n bsp; A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get
repossessed.

With her marriage she got a new name and a
dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and
I'll show you A-flat miner.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four
seconds.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was
fully recovered.

A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France,
resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge
it.

Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down
under.

He broke into song because he couldn't find the
key.

A calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and
'taint mine.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory w hich was never
developed.

A plateau is a high form of flattery.

Those who get too big for their britches will be
exposed in the end.

When you've seen one shopping center you've seen
a mall.

If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in
Seine.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she
thought she'd dye.

&nbs p; Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know
basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.