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[webbo]

THIS IS NOT A PERSONAL EXPERIENCE BUT IT DID MAKE ME LAUGH!!

We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone can top this one:

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying.

On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on the top of my head. The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty.

Initially, the new acquisition was no problem.
Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen.

'Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it.'

'You know where the button is,' I protested through the shower pitter-patter and steam. 'Reset it yourself!'

'But I'm scared!' she persisted. 'What if it starts going and sucks me in?' There was a meaningful pause and then, 'C'mon, it'll only take you a second.'

So out I came, dripping wet and butt naked, hoping that my silent outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior as extremely cowardly. Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing.

It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances. No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth.. It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she spied hanging between my legs She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I reached under the sink. And, at the precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my masculine region.

Wild animals are sometimes faced with a 'fight or flight' syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the 'flight' option. I know this from experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me out cold.

When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now there are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen floor butt naked in front of a group of 'been-there, done-that' paramedics.

Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the while trying to suppress their hysterical laughter......and not succeeding.

Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it back in to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about, which it was. 'What's the matter?' They all asked, 'Cat got your tongue?'

If they only knew!

[Cheshire Cat]

Webbo, that was brilliant, almost fell of my chair Laughing !!

[DT.]

Webbo, that was brilliant, almost fell of my chair Laughing !!

shame you didn't break anything

[Cheshire Cat]

Webbo, that was brilliant, almost fell of my chair Laughing !!

shame you didn't break anything

[Bill]

A little personal story about a cat ~ happened a good few years ago .

I was sitting on the couch with my cat lying across the top back of the couch behind me ~ it was a lazy day off work and I intended to relax.

The phone rang and I jumped up to answer it ~ the cat unknown to me was precariously perched between me and the couch ~ as I moved it stuck it's claws in my back through my thin tea shirt as it lost balance and tried to hang on ~ the claw marks were around 6 to 7 inches down my back .

Now you would think that cat claw marks would be easy to explain as they look like cat claw marks ~ looking in the bathroom mirror whilst applying cream I soon realised that not all the claws had made contact and what I could see looked like what I can only describe as the product of a passionate session.

I wrongly made a snap decision that I would just say nothing and hope they went away pretty quickly as it was going to be to much trouble to explain especially as the mrs was just a touch on the jealous side and often commented that she suspicious of what I got up to on my days off.

Well you can guess what happened ~ a couple of days after I forgot and whipped my shirt off ~ the scratches actually looked much worse and I was given the third degree for days as there was no way she believed my excuse.

The cat sat there smiling whilst I was protesting my innocence ~ I'm sure it was having a good laugh at my expense.

I still think she didn't believe me and reckon it's still stored in her grey matter ready to use against me if anything similar happens again.

Well it's certainly taught me a lesson ~ make sure the cat is aware of your move before you make it and if you do get scratched during a steamy session away from home ~~~~ blame the cat ~ even if you don't have one.

Bill ~~~~~~~~~~~ ex cat lover

[webbo]

A little personal story about a cat ~ happened a good few years ago .

I was sitting on the couch with my cat lying across the top back of the couch behind me ~ it was a lazy day off work and I intended to relax.

The phone rang and I jumped up to answer it ~ the cat unknown to me was precariously perched between me and the couch ~ as I moved it stuck it's claws in my back through my thin tea shirt as it lost balance and tried to hang on ~ the claw marks were around 6 to 7 inches down my back .

Now you would think that cat claw marks would be easy to explain as they look like cat claw marks ~ looking in the bathroom mirror whilst applying cream I soon realised that not all the claws had made contact and what I could see looked like what I can only describe as the product of a passionate session.

I wrongly made a snap decision that I would just say nothing and hope they went away pretty quickly as it was going to be to much trouble to explain especially as the mrs was just a touch on the jealous side and often commented that she suspicious of what I got up to on my days off.

Well you can guess what happened ~ a couple of days after I forgot and whipped my shirt off ~ the scratches actually looked much worse and I was given the third degree for days as there was no way she believed my excuse.

The cat sat there smiling whilst I was protesting my innocence ~ I'm sure it was having a good laugh at my expense.

I still think she didn't believe me and reckon it's still stored in her grey matter ready to use against me if anything similar happens again.

Well it's certainly taught me a lesson ~ make sure the cat is aware of your move before you make it and if you do get scratched during a steamy session away from home ~~~~ blame the cat ~ even if you don't have one.

Bill ~~~~~~~~~~~ ex cat lover

Brilliant tale Bill!

Bubbles x

[SunShine]

lolzz...
Webbo, your 'experience' reminds me of that movie 'there's something abt mary'