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[psycho]

Woman's Perfect Day

08:15 - Wake up to hugs and kisses
08:30 - Weigh-in 5lbs lighter than yesterday
08:45 - Breakfast in bed-freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants; open presents- expensive jewellery chosen by thoughtful partner
09:15 - Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil
10:00 - Light work-out at club with sexy, funny personal trainer
10:30 -Facial, manicure, makeup application, shampoo, condition, blow wave
12:00 - Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor café
12:45 - Catch sight of partner's ex and notice that she has gained 22lbs
13:00 - Shopping with friends: unlimited credit
15:00 - Nap
16:00 - 3 dozen roses delivered by florist; card is from secret admirer
16:15 - Massage from strong but gentle hunk-says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body
17:30 - Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe
19:30 - Candlelit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments received from other diners/ dancers
22:00 - Hot shower - alone
22:50 - Carried to bed, freshly ironed, crisp, white linen
23:00 - Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
23:15 - Fall asleep in his big, strong arms

A Man's Perfect Day

06:00 - Alarm
06:15 - Blow job
06:30 - Massive, satisfying shit while reading the sports section
07:00 - Breakfast-steak and eggs, coffee and toast-all cooked by naked, buxom wench who bends over a lot
07:30 - Limo arrives
07:45 - Several beers en route to the airport
09:15 - Flight in personal Lear jet
09:30 - Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route)
09:45 - Play front nine (2 under par)
11:45 - Lunch-steak and lobster, 3 beers and bottle of Dom Peringon
12:15 - Blow job
12:30 - Play back nine (4 under)
14:15 - Limo back to airport (several bourbons)
14:30 - Fly to Bahamas
15:30 - Late afternoon fishing expedition with all-female crew, all nude who also bend over a lot
16:30 - Land world record Marlin (1234lbs)-on light tackle
17:00 - Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle Macpherson
18:45 - Shit, shower and shave
19:00 - Watch news - Michael Jackson assassinated
19:30 - Dinner-lobster appetizers, Dom Peringon (1953), big juicy fillet steak followed by ice cream served on a big pair of tits
21:30 - Sex with three women, all with lesbian tendencies
23:00 - Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer
23:30 - Night-cap blow job
23:45 - In bed alone
23:50 - A 22-second fart that changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room
23:51 - Laugh yourself to sleep