The Best Cyprus Community

Skip to content


Another one for Aida

We all need a good laugh.

Another one for Aida

Postby Bill » Wed Feb 06, 2008 1:19 am

A guy in New Zealand buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and phones a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.

The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant.
The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and instead will lie down and wallow in grass when they are pregnant.

The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes
to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to
impregnate the sheep himself. So, he loads the sheep into his Land Rover#~ drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all ~ brings them back and goes to bed.

Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he deduces that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the Land Rover again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back, and goes to bed exhausted.

Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just
standing round. Try again. he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up, and drive them out to the woods.

He spends all day shagging the sheep and upon returning home, falls absolutely knackered into bed.

The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look out
of the window so he asks his wife to look, and tell him if the sheep are lying in the grass.
-
-
No, she says, they're all in the Land Rover, and one of them is beeping the horn and shouting hurry up Aida. :shock:

Bill ~
Just loving the way Cath lics
Bill
Regular Contributor
Regular Contributor
 
Posts: 1903
Joined: Tue May 16, 2006 10:58 am
Location: ~ Sunny South East Coast of Cyprus

Postby BC Numismatics » Wed Feb 06, 2008 1:19 am

LAME!

Aidan.
User avatar
BC Numismatics
Regular Contributor
Regular Contributor
 
Posts: 1448
Joined: Mon Oct 01, 2007 12:28 pm
Location: Wellington,New Zealand.

Postby IcyNoAngel » Wed Feb 06, 2008 8:53 am

Is that you Aidan? :lol: :lol: :lol:
Oh, sorry, it's Aida.. my bad... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
IcyNoAngel
Contributor
Contributor
 
Posts: 674
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 2:55 pm

Postby cyprusgrump » Wed Feb 06, 2008 9:06 am

BC Numismatics wrote:LAME!

Aidan.

The lame ones are easier to catch eh? :shock:

You’re so baaaaaad… :wink:
User avatar
cyprusgrump
Main Contributor
Main Contributor
 
Posts: 8521
Joined: Thu Sep 01, 2005 4:35 pm
Location: Pissouri, Cyprus

Postby Phill » Wed Feb 06, 2008 11:10 pm

Nice one bill... :lol: :lol: :lol:
Poor Aida, has someone pulled the wool over his eyes...
User avatar
Phill
Contributor
Contributor
 
Posts: 568
Joined: Thu Sep 27, 2007 6:19 am
Location: Oroklini, Larnaca

Re: Another one for Aida

Postby webbo » Thu Feb 07, 2008 2:02 pm

BRILLIANT, ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT!!!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

BUBBLES X 8)
User avatar
webbo
Main Contributor
Main Contributor
 
Posts: 4698
Joined: Mon Sep 25, 2006 4:08 pm

Postby tessintrnc » Thu Feb 07, 2008 2:27 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Keep 'em coming!!!

Tess (ticles as well as cath lics) :wink:
User avatar
tessintrnc
Regular Contributor
Regular Contributor
 
Posts: 2743
Joined: Thu Jan 11, 2007 10:17 am
Location: Ozanköy

Postby webbo » Thu Feb 07, 2008 4:21 pm

An Australian was walking down a country road in New Zealand, when he happened to glance over the fence and see a farmer goin' at it with a sheep.

The Aussie is quite taken aback by this, so he climbs the fence and walks over to the farmer.

He taps him on the shoulder and says, "You know mate, back home, we shear those!"

The New Zealander looks frantically around and says, "I'm not bloody SHEARING this with no one!"
User avatar
webbo
Main Contributor
Main Contributor
 
Posts: 4698
Joined: Mon Sep 25, 2006 4:08 pm

Postby webbo » Thu Feb 07, 2008 4:26 pm

A lion in the zoo sitting there licking it's hole.
A visitor says, "He doesn't look very vicious to me."
"Well he is." Says the zoo keeper, "he just grabbed a Kiwi, pulled him through the fence and ate him all up."
"Is that right?" says the visitor, "he seems pretty casual, why is he licking his arse?"
The zoo keeper replies, "He's trying to get the horrible taste out of his mouth."
User avatar
webbo
Main Contributor
Main Contributor
 
Posts: 4698
Joined: Mon Sep 25, 2006 4:08 pm

Postby webbo » Thu Feb 07, 2008 4:27 pm

What do you call a kiwi sheep dog?
A: A pimp.

Why do kiwis end up marrying women?
A: Sheep can't cook.


Bruce and Cobber are driving into town from the ranch and it's Bruce's first time driving on a tarred road.
A bit nervous at how Bruce will handle the narrower roads Cobber says, "Bruce, have you ever made a u-turn?"

Bruce replies: "No, but I once made a ram's eyes water."
User avatar
webbo
Main Contributor
Main Contributor
 
Posts: 4698
Joined: Mon Sep 25, 2006 4:08 pm

Next

Return to Jokes and Enigmas

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests