Cyprus-Forum.com

[Pumpy]

It has to be done.

I'm a legend here and much loved by hundreds of members. I am a beacon, nay, light, to all that traverse these webby climbs.

I am The Nuts.

I should be voted Hon.Pres and paid homage to daily.

I assume everyone is in agreement with this?

Thanks

Pumpy

[purdey]

For entertainment value,you take some beating...

[zan]

Policies..We want to hear policies......

[Pumpy]

1) Arrest all dodgy Russian cabaret owners, stick 'em on a plane and send it to Moscow, with 1st class coach passes to enable swift transport directly to the front door of Putin's secret police headquarters. Let's see how they like being fucked up the arse with a steely pole.

2) Solve the Cyprus Problem in one foul swoop, by essentially organising a massive party at Ledra Palace Hotel - everyone invited, free drinks (to be paid for by the governments and also greedy property developers who have taken the piss now for decades.) Once everyone is suitably drunk, we can then agree to bring down the Green Line (by going out and tearing it down) and live as one country.

The issue of land and property would no longer be a problem. Because all land and property would be nationalised under the government and then doled out on a needs basis.

The new government to consist of parties with mixed ethnicity. Fair representation for all.

3) Re-nationalisation of the Airport and the complete reformation of the tourism organisation (scrap CTO and replace it with a competent business minded body of professionals).

4) Big funding and drive for education to turn people into respectable civilised clever folk free of bigotry and received ideas.

5) Abolition of the ridiculous non-working week. A maximum of a 1 and a hlaf hour break at lunch for businesses and state run bodies during the months of June to August. Wednesday afternoons and Saturdays are normal working days. A drastic reduction in public holidays. People should be discouraged from becoming lazy indolent fuckers. Get back to work, you idiots.

6) A massive building project for public transport, to massively reduce the dependence on cars. New light passenger and freight train network, new buses and coaches and for this to be publically subsidised to help poorer people afford to get around.

7) A boost to civic and public life by emphasis on outdoors and social activities, especially those that get GCs and TCs together. This is to help reduce the unhealthy addictions to consumerism and television.

Government regulation of business to ensure the public are no longer scandalously ripped off, and to esnure proper EU compliant business practice. More legal aid for poor people.

9) British bases to stay, but for more money to be paid in revenues, in order to help fund the public purse.

and finally

10) Everything to be free and on tap for Pumpy, whenever he decides to return to his blessed, restructured, saved motherland. So I'll have a GC waiter and a TC chauffeur.

That's all

Thanks

Pumpy

[purdey]

You have my vote...excellent.

[zan]

I'm in....What car will I be driving you in....?

[Pumpy]

Fiat 500

What else?

[zan]

Fiat 500

What else?

Cypriot stylie!!!

[Pumpy]

Yeah, that'll do. With a bit of 50cent in da club pumpin' out.

All the way to Paralimni to run over the fascist potato farmers.

Btw: I have a question for those Tcs that live in "Lefkosa". What do you think of all those high rise tower blocks? Don't you think they look ugly and horrible. Must be awful to live in one of those.

[phoenix]

Svetlana talked you up ... so I had some expectations.

But sadly like most politicians (apart from TPap ) ... you have been a huge disappointment.

(although the Turks are easily pleased )

Pip-pip
phoenix

Still waiting for that really interesting, life changing forumer.