Cyprus-Forum.com

[phoenix]

I feel like a let down, stuck between looking after an 80 year old mum and a 10 year old son, nothing I do is quite good enough.

Well what would your perfect Cypriot Mamma do for you .....

poor poor Phoenix! i totally understand, but i don't have the kids.... i tried to take care of a husband and a dying mother, i know how hard it is. my husband was "sick" (an alcoholic) and couldn't keep a job down, i was working 3 jobs at the time. i am glad that part of my life is over now.

do you have any sibblings that can help with your mom?

GG don't give me any sympathy or I may just break down

I can cope, it's just that the mamma's Greek and very independent /peculiar / senile and she keeps throwing my things away that she does not approve of (e.g. Hats !).

The son is acting more and more Cypriot Male .... "gotta tell the women what to do" sort of attitude.

And I am so pleasant and easy going ( ) that I seriously run the risk of being obliterated .....

i KNOW what it's like. only instead of the son, it was my sisters telling me i wasn't doing it well enough.
meanwhile, they were only able to deal with Mom for about 2 hours once a month. i had to deal with Mom on a daily basis.

You must have achieved a sense of self-fulfillment looking after mum, right?

At least you did not have to question that you were carrying out your duties?

So are you satisfied with what you achieved?

My mum is quite a character so I really do not mind, it's just that I end up feeling completely inadequate .....

If she was 20 years younger she would have solved the Cyprus Problem ......

self fulfillment? no way!
i was always questioning why. my sisters wouldn't help, and it was frustrating as mom was losing her mind the sicker she got. i didn't quiet understand what was going on, and i was never good enough for her anyway. i was her least favorite kid, yet i was the only one taking care of her, while my sisters kept telling me i wasn't good enough as well.
i did what i had to do, tried to do the best i could with the circumstances i had. i am glad it's over, i don't ever want to go back there again. i also don't want to put anyone thru doing that for me when my time comes. although i don't think there will be anyone to care for me anyway. no children of my own, and my sisters would never help me out, not once in a million years would they ever help me.
my plan is when i can't take care of myself anymore, i use a razor on my wrists.

GG .... NO!

You will always have the forum ......

[Niki]

Wow I am so lucky. My Mum is a very active 65 year old who never sits still, she's got my washing done before I even know it needs doing!! She nannied for my girls while I was working for many years and they adore her. British mums are probably less volatile than Cypriot mums.

She's moving here tomorrow (with my Father of course)!!!! They will be living with us for a month while their furniture is shipped so it may get a little fraught between Mr Niki and Mother in Law. Tomorrow though we'll celebrate although I am feeling a little nervous as they are moving here because of us so I just pray they like living in Cyprus.

GG you sound like such a caring responsible person and what a time you've had! You so often hear of the daughter that cares the most is treated the worst. Maybe she was so close to you she acted like you were part of the furniture. I'm sure she loved you.

Phoenix, your mother seems to take after you. A strong lady! Don't let her and the son push you around (as if ). How is the tall Scottish hubby liking it in Cyprus?

[GorillaGal]

I feel like a let down, stuck between looking after an 80 year old mum and a 10 year old son, nothing I do is quite good enough.

Well what would your perfect Cypriot Mamma do for you .....

poor poor Phoenix! i totally understand, but i don't have the kids.... i tried to take care of a husband and a dying mother, i know how hard it is. my husband was "sick" (an alcoholic) and couldn't keep a job down, i was working 3 jobs at the time. i am glad that part of my life is over now.

do you have any sibblings that can help with your mom?

GG don't give me any sympathy or I may just break down

I can cope, it's just that the mamma's Greek and very independent /peculiar / senile and she keeps throwing my things away that she does not approve of (e.g. Hats !).

The son is acting more and more Cypriot Male .... "gotta tell the women what to do" sort of attitude.

And I am so pleasant and easy going ( ) that I seriously run the risk of being obliterated .....

i KNOW what it's like. only instead of the son, it was my sisters telling me i wasn't doing it well enough.
meanwhile, they were only able to deal with Mom for about 2 hours once a month. i had to deal with Mom on a daily basis.

You must have achieved a sense of self-fulfillment looking after mum, right?

At least you did not have to question that you were carrying out your duties?

So are you satisfied with what you achieved?

My mum is quite a character so I really do not mind, it's just that I end up feeling completely inadequate .....

If she was 20 years younger she would have solved the Cyprus Problem ......

self fulfillment? no way!
i was always questioning why. my sisters wouldn't help, and it was frustrating as mom was losing her mind the sicker she got. i didn't quiet understand what was going on, and i was never good enough for her anyway. i was her least favorite kid, yet i was the only one taking care of her, while my sisters kept telling me i wasn't good enough as well.
i did what i had to do, tried to do the best i could with the circumstances i had. i am glad it's over, i don't ever want to go back there again. i also don't want to put anyone thru doing that for me when my time comes. although i don't think there will be anyone to care for me anyway. no children of my own, and my sisters would never help me out, not once in a million years would they ever help me.
my plan is when i can't take care of myself anymore, i use a razor on my wrists.

GG .... NO!

You will always have the forum ......

i'll be too sick to get on-line. i better keep my razor plan.
don't worry, it should be a way off before i have to think about that, and alot can happen before now and then.

[GorillaGal]

Wow I am so lucky. My Mum is a very active 65 year old who never sits still, she's got my washing done before I even know it needs doing!! She nannied for my girls while I was working for many years and they adore her. British mums are probably less volatile than Cypriot mums.

She's moving here tomorrow (with my Father of course)!!!! They will be living with us for a month while their furniture is shipped so it may get a little fraught between Mr Niki and Mother in Law. Tomorrow though we'll celebrate although I am feeling a little nervous as they are moving here because of us so I just pray they like living in Cyprus.

GG you sound like such a caring responsible person and what a time you've had! You so often hear of the daughter that cares the most is treated the worst. Maybe she was so close to you she acted like you were part of the furniture. I'm sure she loved you.

Phoenix, your mother seems to take after you. A strong lady! Don't let her and the son push you around (as if ). How is the tall Scottish hubby liking it in Cyprus?

Niki--i am sure my mom did love me. i just was just her least favorite. she knows i was the one that was there for her at the end, and i know she got to realize i was OK after all. i am glad i got to know that.

[denizaksulu]

Phoenix , I am pleased that you finally have decided on your true vocation.

As we say,

"ANA GIBI YAR, VATAN GIBI DIYAR OLMAZ".

You normally ignore my posts, but should you be interested, I will translate.

[Bill]

Samos is a Greek island .... are you Cypriot or Greek Bill, .... or just confused / dazed / scarred for life

probably all three

Bill ~~~~ not Cypriot

[tessintrnc]

Phoenix - my friend had similar problems with her Mum and she used to try distracting her away from just sitting and criticising - she used to get her children to read to her - with the excuse that they needed a critical ear. She used to tell her mum that she could never peel vegetables as nicely as her mum, and could mum please help? I know it sounds patronising - but they act like children sometimes anyway!!! Keep your chin up and be proud of yourself.........
Tess x

[webbo]

I feel like a let down, stuck between looking after an 80 year old mum and a 10 year old son, nothing I do is quite good enough.

Well what would your perfect Cypriot Mamma do for you .....

Turn the taps off and conserve water!!!

Bubbles x

[T_C]

I have a perfect Cypriot mother already...

I used to kinda resent her when I was younger for moving us to the UK. One morning we were going to "Famagusta" to see my family and the next minute we ended up at the airport...she never told anyone in my family that we were leaving coz they wouldn't of allowed her to go. That was kinda traumatic for me and I hated the UK when I came here, we only knew 1 person, and we didn't know a WORD of English I just wanted to go home and I sort of held that against my mum for years and years.

It's only now I realise the reasons behind her leaving and it had a lot to do with wanting to make me happy, but I saw it as the complete opposite and I feel so so bad for putting her through so much stress.

Anyways, I wouldn't change my mum for the world...she's one brave woman....

[MR-from-NG]

I feel like a let down, stuck between looking after an 80 year old mum and a 10 year old son, nothing I do is quite good enough.

Well what would your perfect Cypriot Mamma do for you .....

Spend less time making a fool of yourself on the forum and more time with your mum and son. This simple rule applies to all mothers around the world, not just Cypriots.