NO SEX TONIGHT!
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I have never figured out why men think with their head and women
with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed. The passion starts to heat up, when she eventually says "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look
by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to
sleep...
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several
different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so
I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her
new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was
testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even
know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said,
"That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
"WHAT?!"
I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she
was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and
not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either
