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[DINOS SKALIOTIS]

A man was in a long line at his local Tesco store.
As he got to the register he realized he had forgotten to get condoms, so he asked the checkout girl if she could have some brought up to the register.

She asked, 'What size condoms?' The customer replied that he didn't
know.

She asked him to drop his trousers. He did.

She reached over the counter, grabbed hold of him and called over
the intercom, 'One box of large condoms, Till 5.'

The next man in line thought this was interesting, and like most of
us, was up for a cheap thrill. When he got up to the register, he told
the checker that he too had forgotten to get condoms, and asked if she
could have some brought to the register for him.
She asked him what size, and he stated that he didn't know. She
asked him to drop his trousers. He did.

She gave him a quick feel, picked up the intercom and said, 'One box
of medium-sized condoms, Till 5.'

A few customers back was this teenage boy. He thought what he had
seen was way too cool. He had never had any type of sexual contact
with a live female, so he thought this was his chance.

When he got to the till he told the checker he needed some condoms.

She asked him what size and he said he didn't know. She asked him to
drop his trousers and he did.

She reached over the counter, gave him a quick squeeze then picked
up the intercom and said...


(you'll love this one...................)



'Mop and bucket, Till 5'

[webbo]

Terrible!!

B x

[Bill]

terribly funny

Now a true story to make you smile.


Many years ago I was shopping at the Co-op supermarket in my village in the UK.

I had my nearly 5 year old son with me ~ we were standing at the checkout waiting for the customer in front (a woman in her mid 20's) to finish when all of a sudden she turned round and slapped me hard across the face shouting at the top of her voice "you dirty bastard ~ can't you keep your hands to yourself".

She then noticed both my hands were resting on the shopping basket and also saw my 5 year old son smiling up at her ~ the checkout girl was smiling and pointing down to my apparently sweet and innocent 5 year old son .

She went bright red stuttered out that she was so very very sorry and ran out of the supermarket leaving all her shopping at the til.

Seems that my son had clung on to the ladies leg thinking she was his mum ( as kids often do ) and she had immediately thought when turning round and only seeing me at first that I'd had a quick feel ~ as my son was 5 years old you can imagine where hs hand was near.

After the initial embarrassment of the just slapped face and being called a dirty bastard I saw the funny side of it as did the other customers.

Apparently she never returned to shop at that supermarket again and seeing that it was the only one in the village must have given her a few problems.

It took a bit of explaining to the missus when I got home as to why I had the mark of someones hand across my face ~ but luckily she saw the funny side of it .

Bill ~~~~ and that your honour is my defence

[DINOS SKALIOTIS]

terribly funny

Now a true story to make you smile.


Many years ago I was shopping at the Co-op supermarket in my village in the UK.

I had my nearly 5 year old son with me ~ we were standing at the checkout waiting for the customer in front (a woman in her mid 20's) to finish when all of a sudden she turned round and slapped me hard across the face shouting at the top of her voice "you dirty bastard ~ can't you keep your hands to yourself".

She then noticed both my hands were resting on the shopping basket and also saw my 5 year old son smiling up at her ~ the checkout girl was smiling and pointing down to my apparently sweet and innocent 5 year old son .

She went bright red stuttered out that she was so very very sorry and ran out of the supermarket leaving all her shopping at the til.

Seems that my son had clung on to the ladies leg thinking she was his mum ( as kids often do ) and she had immediately thought when turning round and only seeing me at first that I'd had a quick feel ~ as my son was 5 years old you can imagine where hs hand was near.

After the initial embarrassment of the just slapped face and being called a dirty bastard I saw the funny side of it as did the other customers.

Apparently she never returned to shop at that supermarket again and seeing that it was the only one in the village must have given her a few problems.

It took a bit of explaining to the missus when I got home as to why I had the mark of someones hand across my face ~ but luckily she saw the funny side of it .

Bill ~~~~ and that your honour is my defence

brilliant! must have been a very long time ago if you had a 5 year old bill
good to see that you taught the 5 year old well though that will come in handy in later life tell him

[webbo]

Bill, you should write a book. I am serious.

Bubbles x

[Bill]

:lol: Bill, you should write a book. I am serious.

Bubbles x

I've seriously thought about it Bubbles ~~ I'm one of those people that things happen to ~~ whether I want it or not.

My life has been brightened ( or blighted ) by many similar happenings ~~ I seem to have been the right person in the wrong place at the wrong time ~~my sons think it's amusing until something happens whilst I'm out with them then they run and hide.

Still it's better than having a really boring life I suppose.

Bill ~~ a really boring old fart that things happen to

[Niki]

:lol: Bill, you should write a book. I am serious.

Bubbles x

I've seriously thought about it Bubbles ~~ I'm one of those people that things happen to ~~ whether I want it or not.

My life has been brightened ( or blighted ) by many similar happenings ~~ I seem to have been the right person in the wrong place at the wrong time ~~my sons think it's amusing until something happens whilst I'm out with them then they run and hide.

Still it's better than having a really boring life I suppose.

Bill ~~ a really boring old fart that things happen to

You're great Bill, Happy New Year to you!

[Bill]

brilliant! must have been a very long time ago if you had a 5 year old bill
good to see that you taught the 5 year old well though that will come in handy in later life tell him

Yep he's 34 now and the middle one of the three.

He's always been a bit on the ~~ err ~~ handy side

Bill

[DINOS SKALIOTIS]

brilliant! must have been a very long time ago if you had a 5 year old bill
good to see that you taught the 5 year old well though that will come in handy in later life tell him

Yep he's 34 now and the middle one of the three.

He's always been a bit on the ~~ err ~~ handy side

Bill

fantastic

[webbo]

:lol: Bill, you should write a book. I am serious.

Bubbles x

I've seriously thought about it Bubbles ~~ I'm one of those people that things happen to ~~ whether I want it or not.

My life has been brightened ( or blighted ) by many similar happenings ~~ I seem to have been the right person in the wrong place at the wrong time ~~my sons think it's amusing until something happens whilst I'm out with them then they run and hide.

Still it's better than having a really boring life I suppose.

Bill ~~ a really boring old fart that things happen to

Well I for one would pay good money to read it. You are wasting your time on the forum mate. Get started on your first chapter - NOW!!
B x