I don't know who read and who didn't or who wants to but what thee hell...It keeps my posting rate up...I wonder what the next level is
Years ago when Clubs were called Discos, we used to go to a place in the West End called Ripples. I don't know the history of the place but it looked like an old strip joint from the 70's. There was a big stage and two 8ft water wheels one each side and to the back of the stage. They had a metal frame round them that looked like they once had glass in them and were filled with water for the full effect. The wheels still spun and instead of the water, green lights were placed in the troughs for effect. We made some friends there and in particular two sisters that were nice but none of us were interested in them in that way because they were not really stunners and about 5ft tall. I was always nice to the girls whilst my GC and Armenian friends would not really give them the time of day.
On one occasion, half way through the night, one of the sisters cornered me near one of these water wheels and said "It's my birthday today...Where's my kiss"....Not wanting to hurt her feelings and not wanting my friends to see me kissing her, I moved closer to the wheel and sat on the stage and closed my eyes and said " Come on then".......
WOW! What a kiss....It knocked me out......What really happened was that in my embarrassment I leaned to far back and was smacked on the head by one of the blades of the water wheel. It did not stop there. I was dragged into the trough and as I opened my eyes I saw a big blade coming at me.....Now this all happened so quick but I thought this thing is going to break my nose so I turned my head sideways and received a thump on the side of the face that dragged me in further until half my body was in the trough and my arms were trapped by my sides. To make things worse the light was perfectly positioned so every time the gears slipped on the water wheel it skipped back a little and came crashing back into the side of my face and pushed me onto the light. I had splinters on one side and was being burned on the other. I really thought this thing was going to snap my neck. It was that powerful.
After the initial shock, I managed to get my thoughts together and as the water wheel slipped on it's gears and gave me a little slack I managed to get my hands under the blade of the wheel. The angle was all wrong but adrenaline enabled me to start to push against the gears and with every slip of the gears I pushed the wheel further and further up. Eventually I got it to a position in which I could tilt my head to the side and and lean forward enough to clear the blade. As I let go the wheel spun round as if on a spring and I felt the wind on the back of my head. I looked at the young girls face and she was terrified. I then looked up and the DJ had turned off the music and the entire Disco was standing looking at me. Then I heard my Armenian friend start to laugh just as the DJ shook his head and mouthed the word "Prat" and went back to his job....I slipped off the stage and crawled under the nearest table and refused to come out. My friends could not talk they were laughing so much. Later My Armenian friend told me I looked like the HULK under the green light with my Afro hair cut, shining green as well. I asked him why he did not come and help me and he said that all he saw were two legs flailing in the air and thought, "Some stupid tart has fallen in the water wheel". I also asked why the DJ had turned off the music and he said that the gears slipping was making a louder noise than the music so he turned it off to find the source of the noise. My face was sore on both sides for at least a week and my pride for a while longer. It soon passed though because this story became my party piece and we could not go anywhere without my Armenian friend saying..."Tell them the story about the water wheel", which I did with him pissing himself laughing in the background.