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A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how
many kinds of boobs are there?

The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of
breasts, in her 20s, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In
her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After
50,
they are like onions".

"Onions?"

"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how
many kinds of 'willies' are there?"

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes
through three phases. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and
hard. In his 30s and 40s, it is like a branch, flexible but reliable. After
his 50 s, it is like a Christmas tree".

"A Christmas tree?"

"Yes - dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration."