free_cyprus wrote: you still havent answered the question ???
how does a men become a gentlemen and how does he aquire manners?????
The actions of a gentleman are sometimes quite obvious and sometimes not so.
If you try to evaluate correctness and good manners by observing the behaviour of a gentleman in polite society, you will only see a representation of what polite society expects in various circumstances.
Therefore if you emulate what you have seen, you merely become a carbon copy of the gentleman you have been observing, thus YOUR actions, (and possibly the actions of your chosen mentor) are not necessarily those of a true gentleman.
Good manners are also subject to the above and similarly can expose a certain awkwardness in your attempts at assimilation.
A TRUE gentleman will stand out like a beacon in all situations, not by his (mechanically learned) observance of propriety, rather by his 'natural' demeanour which can be easily recognized at various times.
For instance:-, if you observe a man exiting a swimming pool in order to take a piss, you have seen one, they are a rarity I grant you but they do exist, the same rule may be applied to a man taking a bath, although the possibility of observation is remote in the latter circumstance.
'Enlightenment' is once again the answer to the question posed, it actually is the answer to all questions but is not easily attained.
In my humble opinion.
