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[Niki]

I've just remembered another......

I was in House of Fraser department store in Kingston and wearing 'hold up' stockings.

The hold ups didn't...and one fell down around my ankles in the middle of the shoe sales aisles. What to do? Walk round with a stocking round my ankles or hitch! I tried to hitch and thought I'd found a blind spot but some unsuspecting guy saw the whole thing and I swear his jaw hit the floor. In the end I let them both drop and stepped out of them while in the lingerie department.

That's not an embarrassing story that's a horny story!

Not for me it wasn't!!!

Please tell me another one... a stocking story that is!

Sorry no more (apart from the one when my friend 'twanged' hers in the middle of a meeting coz they were uncomfortable trying to loosen them and everyone heard) - this was a while ago and I wear only 1,000 denier tights now!

[LENA]

Zipped my thingy up after going to the toilet and after trying to get the zip off using a screwdriver and pliers without success, had to go to the hospital. The male nurse cut my trousers leaving just the zip and some cloth hanging off my whatsit and tried again with the screwdiver and pliers thing with the same success, so then a doctor gave me an injection in yes you guessed it to numb it and a few nurses laughed, and success off it came (it hurt for a while after)
The moral is always be careful after having a wee, I am.

I am sure you do

[Get Real!]

I've just remembered another......

I was in House of Fraser department store in Kingston and wearing 'hold up' stockings.

The hold ups didn't...and one fell down around my ankles in the middle of the shoe sales aisles. What to do? Walk round with a stocking round my ankles or hitch! I tried to hitch and thought I'd found a blind spot but some unsuspecting guy saw the whole thing and I swear his jaw hit the floor. In the end I let them both drop and stepped out of them while in the lingerie department.

That's not an embarrassing story that's a horny story!

Not for me it wasn't!!!

Please tell me another one... a stocking story that is!

Sorry no more (apart from the one when my friend 'twanged' hers in the middle of a meeting coz they were uncomfortable trying to loosen them and everyone heard) - this was a while ago and I wear only 1,000 denier tights now!

Twanged? Is that slang for "ate"?

Hmm, I wonder if you can get 1,000 denier jocks... I guess that's one way of getting a sex change...

[Bill]

Many years ago whilst I was in my late teens I'd been to visit friends (they lived about 50 miles away ) for the day on my motor bike with my girlfriend .
~
Riding in the late evening through some of Derbyshire's most beautiful countryside on the way home was fantastic except that I really needed to go to the loo .

Out in the countryside there was absolutely no where to go ~ in a car you can perhaps hold it but on a motor bike with all the movement and vibration it's virtually impossible and it had come to the point of that I had to go or have a nasty accident either on the road or in my pants ~

I found a deserted farmers road off the main road and went down it for about 100 yrds ( just so I couldn't be seen from the main road ) got off the bike and dropped my trousers.

Out of decency I was facing my girlfriend which meant that I was pointing my backside down the lane ~ just as torpedo 1 was leaving my arse there was a look of shock and horror on my girlfriends face followed by a land rover passing me heading towards the main road with the occupants shouting "dirty bastard" .

Although you don't talk much whilst on a motor bike the rest of the journey was made in silence ~ when I got her home her last and only words were " I don't want to see you or your arse anymore ~ goodbye".

Sadly I never did see her again

Bill

[dinos]

...Out of decency I was facing my girlfriend which meant that I was pointing my backside down the lane ~ just as torpedo 1 was leaving my arse there was a look of shock and horror on my girlfriends face followed by a land rover passing me heading towards the main road with the occupants shouting "dirty bastard" .

I hate when that happens. Just when you need a little privacy...what nerve!

Zipped my thingy up after going to the toilet and after trying to get the zip off using a screwdriver and pliers without success, had to go to the hospital. The male nurse cut my trousers leaving just the zip and some cloth hanging off my whatsit and tried again with the screwdiver and pliers thing with the same success, so then a doctor gave me an injection in yes you guessed it to numb it and a few nurses laughed, and success off it came (it hurt for a while after)
The moral is always be careful after having a wee, I am.

My concern with this prevents me from shaving in the shower.

[twinkle]

I have a similar hold-up stocking story. I was running for the train late for work (as usual). I could feel one leg slipping. Before I knew it, it was round my ankle. I had to carry on running and managed to squeeze through the closing doors. Not only did I draw attention to myself because I'd jumped onto the train while everyone else was sitting calmly, but when they all looked over....I had one black leg and one white leg with a Nora Batty wrinkled stocking round my ankle. I didn't have the courage to pull it right up so pulled it up to my knee and then stood with my legs tightly together.

To be honest I have another couple of stories....falling out of a taxi in Piccadilly (but still continuing my conversation on a mobile), getting the tassles on the bottom of a dress stuck around a transvestites boots in a club, pulling out my purse from my bag and presenting the cashier with my credit card and a panty liner... oh the list seems endless......

[Shipwreck]

Twinkle you sound like you would be a great date!!

[skyvet]

quite a long time ago i was working as a white arrow driver in exmouth Devon. i noticed in the window of a house a white arrow card, meaning they had a return parcel to go back to the catalogue company. so i stopped the van and knocked on the door. a very posh lady (mrs bucket style) came to the door and said oh yes i have a return and went into another room to get it. now i had been suffering from a bit of a chesty cough and felt a cough brewing. she returned to the door and as i was signing her return book i needed to cough, so i put my hand over my mouth and coughed, unfortunately a very large piece of flob escaped between my fingers and hit her on her forehead between her eyes she sort of screamed eeeewwwwww and tried to wipe it off but it was all stringy
i said i do apologize and sort of walked away very quickly

Absolute classic VW - one of those "had to be there" moments!!

[twinkle]

Twinkle you sound like you would be a great date!!

I had my moments..... I've since settled and calmed down.

[Shipwreck]

Comes to us all eventually...