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Which stage do you reach?



Stage 1: Smart

This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject. You know
all and greatly wish to express this knowledge to anyone who will
listen. At this stage you are also always right. And of course the
person you are talking with is very wrong. You will talk for hours
trying to convince someone that you are right. This makes for an
interesting arguement when both parties are "smart". Two people
talking, in fact, arguing about a subject neither one really knows
anything about, but are convinced that they are they complete
authority on the subject makes for great entertainment for those get
the oppertunity to listen in.

Stage 2: Handsome/Pretty

This is when you are convinced that you are the best looking person in
the entire room and everyone is looking at you. You begin to wink at
perfect strangers and ask them to dance because of course they had
been admiring you the whole evening. You are the center of attention,
and all eyes are directed at you because you are the most beautiful
thing on the face of the earth. Now keep in mind that you are still
smart, so you can talk to this person who has been admiring you about
any and all subjects under the sun.

Stage 3: Rich

This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You
can buy drinks for the entire bar and put it on your bill because you
surely have an armored truck full of your money parked behind the bar.
You can also make bets in this stage. Now of course you still know
all, so you will always win all your bets. And you have no concern for
how much money you bet because you have all the money in the world.
You will also begin to buy drinks for all the people in the bar who
are admiring you because you are now the smartest, most handsome, and
richest person on the face of the earth.

Stage 4: Bulletproof

You can now pick fights with the people you have been betting money
with because you cannot be hurt by anything. At this point you would
go up to the boyfriend of the woman who had been admiring your
beautiful self all evening and challange him to a battle of wits for
money. You have no worry about losing this battle of wits because you
know all, have all the money to cover this bet, and you obviously win
a fight that might errupt if he loses.

Stage 5: Invisible

This is the final stage of drunkenness. At this point you can do
absolutely anything because no one can see you. You can get up and
dance on a table, to impress the people who have been admiring you all
evening, because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you.
You are also invisible to the person whom you have picked a fight with
earlier in the evening. You can walk through the streets singing at
the top of your lungs (because of course you are still smart and know
the tune perfectly) and no one will think anything of it because they
can't see you. All your social inhibitions are gone. You can do
anything, because no one will know. And you certainly won't remember.