The daughter says "I got £50 today for a blow job".
So the mother says "when i was your age it was only a fiver" and the granny says "in my day we were just glad for the warm drink".
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A man had to show his chest hair to prove he could get his pension. His wife said "you should have shown them your cock and we could have got disability too!"
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A young man makes an appearance on 'Stars in your Eyes' and when he comes on stage he brings with him a guy with no legs sat in a wheelchair. Matthew Kelly says "Hello, who's this you brought onto stage with you, and the contestant says "It's my uncle, but he has no legs because I dropped a big sheet of glass across his legs, and now he can't work" Matthew Kelly turns to the uncle and says "Are you on stage to support your nephew" and the uncle says "No, I am here to sing" So MK turns to the lad and says "Tell the audience who you are going to be" and the lad says "Tonight Matthew, we are going to be Simon and half uncle"
OK, this last one was poor
