Cyprus-Forum.com

[LENA]

A distinguished young woman on a flight from
Switzerland asked the Priest beside her, "Father,
may I ask a favor?"

"Of course. What may I do for you?"

"Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic
hair dryer for my mother's birthday. The dryer is
unopened and well over the Customs limits; and
I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way
you could carry it through Customs for me? Under
your robes perhaps?"

"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn
you: I will not lie."

"With your honest face, Father, no one will
question you." When they reached the Customs area,
she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked:
"Father, do you have anything to declare?"

"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have
nothing to declare."

The official thought this answer strange, so asked,
"And what do you have to declare from your waist to
the floor?"

"I have a marvelous instrument designed to be
used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."

Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go
ahead, Father."
"Next."

[MariaEvri]

haha very good one

[paliometoxo]

HAHAHa polla kalo

[pantheman]

Lena mou,

I told you before, you are a bad girl, and now you are a bad and naughty girl.

Keep it up we could get to like this

Pantheman

[dms007]

lena that was a wicked one.

[Bananiot]

Yesterday, a friend sent me the following:

The next time you’re having a bad day, imagine about this:

You’re a Siamese twin.

Your brother, attached to your shoulder, is gay.

You’re not.

He has a date coming over tonight.

You only have one ass.

[free_cyprus]

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he couldn't stand still. He asked Father Murphy for some advice. Father Murphy replied,
"When I'm worried about gettin' nervous on the pulpit, I take a wee bit o' whiskey. Just to calm my nerves."
So the next Sunday he took the older priest's advice. Before the mass, he got nervous and took a drink. He then proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon return to his office after mass, he found the following note on his door:

1. A few sips of whiskey. Not the whole bottle.

2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.

7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as

Senior, Junior, and the Spook.

8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.

9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say

"He was stoned off his ass."

10. We do not refer to the cross as the Big T!

11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this

and eat it, for it is my body"; he did not say, "Eat me."

12. The Virgin Mary is not referred to as the, "Mary with the Cherry".

13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: "Rub-A-dub-dub, thanks

for the grub, yea God"

14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy-pulling contest at St. Patrick's,

not a Patrick-pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

[humanist]

Lena I love that one

free _cyprus that was funny man, I loved it cheers

[LENA]

Love both of them....but Bananiot that was brilliant!!!

[IcyNoAngel]

Two guys see a priest get him up in the spire of the church and throw him. The priest fals and dies. One of the guys looks at the other and says:
- Man, I told it's a priest, you didn't wanna listen: batman, batman