Cyprus-Forum.com

[brother]

From the sublime to the ridiculous
By a scribe called Haji Mike


FORTRESS TASSOS OH how the tables have turned. From five years ago when we were the ‘goodies’ with Denkers as the intransigent ‘baddie’ to now when Serdar Son of Denkers points the finger at his tea and biscuits buddy Tassos for attempting to undermine the UN Gen Sec. The Prez seems to be missing one key point. Blaming the UN Sec Gen for being biased, he bleated “why haven’t the Turks put forward their suggestions for changing the Annan plan?” The answer is simple primary school maths: last year’s referendum gave a resounding ‘yes’ by Turkish Cypriots and a resounding ‘no’ from Greek Cypriots, and like 1+1=2 that means the Greeks want changes and the Turks do not. In the meantime the populace will twiddle their thumbs waiting impatiently for the President to unveil his secretive changes – and the settlers will come and not go, and the properties will be illegally bought and sold, and a whole generation of Cypriots will still find themselves sitting watch, pointing guns on the Green Line. As Eddy Grant once said: “Oh mamma mamma you got me, born on the front line!” BIG BUCKS! If you think we owe some money check the US. By mid Feb, the total public debt owed was $7,635,868,335,613.32. With an estimated population of 295,592,989, each US citizen’s share of this debt is $25,832.37. The National Debt has continued to increase an average of $1.86 billion per day since September 30, 2004!  Ain’t gon’ study no war no more! NICK NUMBER 1! If there was an election tomorrow and all the current political leaders stood, as they are, head to head, minus any machinations and false alliances for the sake of getting in power, I would put all my money on Nick Anastasiades winning. Don’t get me wrong – this is not a pre-election blurb in favour of DISY. Far from it!  I have believed for over a decade that none of the current crop of politicians on the sheep farm would get my vote. They all suffer from the same small-mindedness, giving the voting public deliberately unattainable slogans, expressed through synchronized campaigns, which they make the voters believe in. Through this ‘herding’ process, the voters start to think the myths will materialise. Everything from S-300s, to the common defence dogma, independence meaning enosis, federation meaning majority rule, a European solution and ‘no’ meaning ‘yes’! So just for the record, and particularly following his recent trip to Turkey, Nick would win if there as an election tomorrow because he appears to be taking initiatives at a time when most of the politicians in Cyprus sound like stuck records. SLAP SLAP SLAP The lethargic leadership of AKEL has finally got round to reprimanding all those bods who defied the party line during the period leading up to the referendum. With the vast majority of people being victimised coming from the ‘yes’ camp, does this mean mass wrist slapping ceremonies where thousands of ordinary members will get their comeuppance? The irony is AKEL never really had a party line on the referendum until the Overpowering Central Committee decided to squash all freedom of expression with its weak hearted ‘yes meaning no’ stance… or is that ‘no meaning yes’? Oh, who cares? Furthermore it is the only political force in Cyprus that still lives in Stalin’s era in a practical sense. No other party has resorted to such patronising and childlike measures. And when the TV media took it up as a leading story on the news it felt like trial by television – ironic that the comrades of 2004 subliminally flow with the same media techniques of McCarthyism. “Back in the US, back in the US, back in the USSSSR!’ LOUKANIKA MEANS SAUSAGES: Yes that was me on the small screen last week on the cult chat-show Pou Pame - ‘where we go’. While many people would share the view that any one going on this programme runs the serious risk of being made to look like a fool I obviously beg to differ. Seeing as no other TV show would air my views on the grotesque procedure employed by the state TV channel CyBC in slecting our Eurovision entrant, I decided to talk to ‘Andreas & Andreas’ the two presenters of Sigma’s show. Being democratically minded dudes they also put the two radio celebs ‘Tryfon Tryfon’ and ‘Anne de Manousaks’ from un-Love Radio. At least this way people had different sides to the story. I stand by the view that the song, which misrepresents Cyprus this year, is one big mimic of every globalised formula in the populist songbook – but gone wrong. Consequently it is just as manufactured as loukanika, meaning sausage meat, but foul sounding and tasting, as some one hasn’t quiet got the recipe right! Some people may find this a ridiculous skit by yours truly just to get on a TV show but that’s the wrong kind of script to be reading. If you are interested in the academic theory of pop music and sausage meat look no further than David Harker’s book One for the Money (Hutchinson, London 1980). Peace HM