TIT FOR TAT
When the Hodja was repairing the roof a man called him from below.
“What do you want” said the Hodja.
“Come down for just a minute”, he said. “I'll tell you something!”
The Hodja got down and the man said: “Can you lend me some money?”
“Come”, said the Hodja, “for just a minute up above.”
The man came with him onto the roof and the Hodja said:
“I have no money!”
GOOD PLACE
One day the Hodja was told to speak to the community. He came into the mosque, got on the high chair and set for a long time. Then he spoke:
“Dear community, I cannot remember anything to tell you”, he said.
His son, a clever boy, was sitting under the chair. He stood up and said:
“If you cannot remember what to tell us, can't you remember how to get down from there?”
EMPTY HOUSE
One night the wife of the Hodja said:
“Effendi, I heard somebody walking on the roof. I am sure that it's a thief who wants to enter the house.” But the Hodja didn't care about it.
“First let him find something to steal. If he finds it, it will be easier to take it from his hands.”
AGE
They asked Nasreddin Hodja his age.
`Forty.' he replied. `But Hodja, when we asked you your age ten years ago, you gave the same answer!' `That's my word, and I stick with it.' Hodja said.
DATES
One day the Hodja and his wife were eating dates. Hodja's wife noticed that the Hodja was eating the dates with their seeds.
`Hodja Effendi, why are you eating the dates with the seeds?' she asked.
`Because when the grocer sold them to me, he weighed them with the seeds.' was Hodja's explanation.
HAMMAM
The Hodja went to a Turkish bath, but since he was dressed poorly, the attendants said, "Why should we heat the water or perfume the towels. This man will not pay us well." So the Hodja got a cold bath and dried himself with worn-out towels. Upon leaving, he gave the attendants a gold coin. They were very surprised and pleased. So the next time they saw him coming, they gave him the best of service. Steaming hot water, perfumed, fluffy towels, etc. Upon leaving this time, he gave them the smallest copper coin. "What is wrong, Hodja," they asked, "Were you not pleased with your bath." The Hodja replied, "This copper coin is to pay you for the bath I got last time. I have already paid for the bath I got today."
NATURE
One day Nasreddin Hodja was working in his little watermelon patch. When he stopped for a break, he sat under a walnut tree and pondered.
`You Sublime Allah,' he said, `it's your business, but why would you grow huge watermelons on weak branches of a vine, and house little walnuts on a strong and mighty tree?' And as he contemplated such, one walnut fell from the tree right onto his head.
`Great Allah,' he said as he massaged his bruised head, `now I understand why you didn't find the watermelons suitable for the tree. I would have been killed if you had my mind.'
