Cyprus-Forum.com

by **villawagen** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 8:02 pm

EUROPEANS HEIGHTEN THREAT LEVELS

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist
threats and have raised
their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon, though, security
levels may be
raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Londoners have
not been "A Bit
Cross" since the blitz began in 1940 and tea supplies all but ran out.
Terrorists have
been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance". The last
time the
British issued "A Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great
fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its
terror alert
level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are
"Collaborate"
and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that
destroyed France's
white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military
capability.

It's not only the English and French who are on a heightened level of
alert. Italy has
increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to
"Elaborate Military
Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations"
and "Change
Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful
Arrogance" to "Dress
in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels:
"Invade a
Neighbour" and "Lose".

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only
threat they are
worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to
deploy. These
beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy
can get a
really good look at the old Spanish navy.