- Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they wrote in hydrolics. Mummies lived in the SARAH desert and travelled by Camelot. The climate of Sarah was such that the inhabitants had to live elsewhere.
- Moses led the Hebrew slaves to Red Sea where they made unlevened bread. This is bread with no ingredients. Moses went up to Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he reached Canada.
- Solomon had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
- Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man with that name.
- Socrates was a Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. He died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death his career suffered a dramatic decline.
- In the Olympics, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the Java
- Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made a King. Dying, he gasped "Tee hee, Brutus".
- Nero was a cruel tyranny whotortured his subjects by playing the fiddle on them.
- William Tell shot an aple while stending on his sons head.
- Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen". When she exposed herself infront of her troops, they all shouted "hurrah!"
- It was the age of discoveries. Gutenberg invented the removable type and the Bible. Another great invention was the circulation of blood.
- Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking.
- Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.
- William Shakespare was born in 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysteroctemies, all in Islamic pentemeter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet.
- Abraham Lincoln was America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died at infancy and he was born in a log cabin he built with his own hands.
- Johan Bach wrote many great musical compositions, and had a large number of children. In between he practised on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present.
- Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian and half English. He was very large.
I think we have couple of those in this forum!
you have no chance, they will still keep it their way. Well... 
