Tylenol is Acetaminophen
Advil is Ibuprofen
Penicillin is Amoxycillin And so on...
What's the generic name for Viagra?
Mycoxafailin
An elderly man goes into confession and says to the priest, "Father, I'm 80 years old, married, have four kids and 11 grandchildren. I started taking this new Viagra pill, and last night I had an affair and made love to two 18-year-old girls. Both of them. Twice. The priest said: "Well, my son, when was the last time you were in confession?"
"Never Father, I'm Jewish."
"So then, why are you telling me?"
"Hell! I'm telling everybody!"
An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for Viagra. The pharmacist said "That's no problem. How many do you want?"
The man answered, "Just a few, maybe four, but cut each one in four pieces."
The pharmacist said, "That won't do you any good."
The elderly gentleman said, "That's alright. I don't need them for sex anymore. I am over 80 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't piss on my shoes."
A man finally gets his prescription for Viagra. Anxious to try it out, he takes one as soon as he gets home, and waits for his wife to come home from work, but, in his excitement he forgets and leaves the package open on the table and his cockatiel eats all of them.
Seeing the results and panicking the man grabs the bird and stuffs him into the freezer to cool off.
Just as his wife comes home, the Viagra kicks in and it's hours later before he remembers the cockatiel. He runs and looks in the freezer expecting the worst, only to find the bird breathing heavily, drained with sweat and totally exhausted.
"What happened?" the man asks, "You were in there for hours and yet you're not only alive but you're sweating like crazy?"
The cockatiel pants: "Man, have you ever tried to pry apart the legs of a frozen chicken?"
Q: What do you get when you mix Viagra and Prozac?
A: A guy who is ready to go, but doesn't really care where.
As the man began walking toward the door, his wife asked, "Where are you going?"
The man replied, "I'm going to the doctor."
"Why? Are you sick?" the wife asked.
"No," the husband replied. "I'm going to get me some of them new Viagra pills."
His wife got up out of her rocker and started putting on her coat. The husband turned to her and asked, "Where are you going?"
The wife replied, "I'm going to the doctor, too."
"Why?" asked her husband. His wife replied, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thing again, I'm going to get me a tetanus shot."
One morning a long-wed couple were in an amorous embrace and the wife says: "Honey, that Viagra is so wonderful, let me fix us a nice full breakfast... eggs, bacon, toast..."
The husband says: "No, I'm not hungry, the Viagra takes away my appetite."
Later in the day, the wife says: "Sweetheart, I want to do something for you, let me fix you a nice wholesome lunch, fresh salad with your favorite ingredients, steamed veggies, and some grilled fish fillets..."
The husband again refuses, "I'm just not hungry after using that Viagra."
Long about dinner time, the wife tries again, "Are you hungry yet?, I'll fix a steak and potatoes dinner with hot rolls."
The husband still refuses, "No, that Viagra just kills my appetite."
The wife then firmly says "Well, I'm getting something to eat, so get OFF of me!!!"
A man goes to a doctor and, twitching his fingers and stuttering, finally manages to say, "Doctor, I have a sexual performance problem. Can you help me?"
"Oh, that's not a problem for us men anymore!" announces the proud physician. "They just came out with this new wonder drug, Viagra, that does the trick! You take some pills, and your problems are history." So the doctor gives the man a prescription and sends him on his merry way.
A couple of months later, the doctor runs into his patient on the street. "Doctor, Doctor!" exclaims the man excitedly. "I've got to thank you! This drug is a miracle! It's wonderful!"
"Well, I'm glad to hear that," says the pleased physician. "What does your wife think about it?"
"Wife?" asks the man. "I haven't been home yet."
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