This had to to be in Jokes section...
Vibrator threat to national security
Remote control sex toy ‘interferes with military frequencies’
By Jean Christou
CYPRUS may be the island of love but the Ann Summers ‘Love Bug’ wireless sex toy has been banned as a threat to national security.
Described as a “deceptively powerful matt silver love egg” the ‘Love Bug’ is operated by a remote control with a range of six metres but is outlawed in Cyprus for allegedly interfering with military frequencies.
Not unlike Meg Ryan’s infamous performance in When Harry met Sally, the UK-based Ann Summers site description says: “Picture the scene: dinner ? deux in your favourite restaurant when suddenly…you're clenching the tablecloth in ecstasy.”
However women in Cyprus are being denied the pleasure of clutching tablecloths because the page carries the warning: “Not for use in Cyprus”.
Telecommunications authorities were flummoxed yesterday as to why the tiny remote-controlled vibrator is not allowed in Cyprus even though it’s on sale for other EU countries.
An official at the Communications and Works Ministry said they had received no notification or document relating to the ban, which had not come from them.
“We are very surprised,” said an official. These products should circulate without restriction. There is market surveillance to see if they comply with the regulations but we have seen nothing about these toys. Nothing went through the Ministry on that.”
The official said if it was on sale in the EU without restriction, then there was no reason it should not be available here.
He said usually with this sort of radio-communication equipment using remote control, which are called SRD's (Small Range Devices) there was no special regulation existing in Cyprus for them as they operate in a “non interference no protection basis”.
But Lizzie Eddleston from the Ann Summers press office in the UK told the Cyprus Mail: “The rumours are true. Unfortunately the Ann Summers ‘Love Bug’ cannot be used on the beautiful island of Cyprus.”
Eddleston said the reason given was that the electronic waves given off by the ‘Love Bug’ would affect the local radio signals. “As unfortunate as it is there is a silver lining, Ann Summers does provide a vast, naughty selection of toys which will satisfy the greediest of Cypriots!," she said.
Looking further into the issue given the Communications Ministry’s bafflement and the proliferation of wireless technology and devices already operating in Cyprus, Eddleston said it was apparently related to the military.
“It’s definitely because of the disruption it would cause to the military's radio signal,” she said. “But Ann Summers would rather make love, not war.”
She was unable yesterday to say what authority in Cyprus told the company the ‘Love Bug’ could not be imported into the island, and why out of all the countries that operate military frequencies, the island should be the only one banning a vibrator with a six-metre range.
The Communications Ministry official said the military did operate on a different frequency to the general frequency. “So it would all depend on the manufacturer,” he said. However without the actual specifications, it was hard to make an educated guess, he said.
“It’s possible the toy is operating on a military frequency but with these toys the range is so small...only a few metres,” he added.
Asked whether wireless sex toys were banned on the British bases given the amount of military radio equipment there, a spokesman there said he was not aware of any such ban and had never heard anything about vibrators effecting military signals.
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