Cyprus-Forum.com

[BirKibrisli]

It's not your being alive that bothers me, it's the state of your eternal soul and I can say here and now that many members of this forum will be made very welcome by myself when their moment comes. If anyone wishes to go to the Enemy in the Other Place, they have a lot of sins made here to account for. Sometimes I think that I, Lucifer, the fallen angel, am less sinful that many humans, especially politicians and those that dabble in politics promoting divisions between different humans. You have been warned!

Thanks,devil...My dilemma now is what will I do in Heaven while Zan is burning in Hell?.....And I don't believe in all those virgins that the Book is promising us...Perhaps I might have to ask you to escort me to Hell,devil...

Your whole life story in one Bir. You don't really believe the stories but you still want to go there. You face disapointment while I face the hard realities of life and death.

And here I was thinking that you had a very comfortable middle-class life in London...If you keep going like this I will start feeling sorry for you.
By the way,do you know what's with Viewpoint? I haven't come across his/her /their posts for a while.

I hope my children will enjoy the comfortable middle class life (what ever that is) that I am working to provide for them. Me .....Well.........I have worked hard to get to a point where I can provide for my children and go without, in relative terms to what I have seen their friends families spend on holidays and such, so that they can have a good education. The Aston Martin will have to wait. If by feeling sorry for me you mean that there is a cheque in the post then weep away.

Don't you know that the cheque is always in the mail?..

What news from Viewpoint???

[Kifeas]

It's not your being alive that bothers me, it's the state of your eternal soul and I can say here and now that many members of this forum will be made very welcome by myself when their moment comes. If anyone wishes to go to the Enemy in the Other Place, they have a lot of sins made here to account for. Sometimes I think that I, Lucifer, the fallen angel, am less sinful that many humans, especially politicians and those that dabble in politics promoting divisions between different humans. You have been warned!

There was once a Cypriot man called Epivitor, that used to screw everyone he would meet from the back. His time came to pass away and there he was, standing outside the gates of heaven. St. Peter, the keeper of heaven, asks him to confess all his wrongdoings so that he is judged where to be appointed, in heaven or across the mountain where hell was visibly located. Epivitor says that he was always a good family man and a human that always helped others, but he had only one shortcoming which was that he couldn’t resist the view of someone’s ass while bending. St. Peter smiled, thought for a while and then said, “ok, if this is your only shortcoming, then pass through the gates and you are forgiven!”

A couple of days later, one after the other the tenants of heaven began coming to St. Peter, complaining that this new person among them, Epivitoras, goes around and screws everyone he sees bending, including the very archangel and all the angels, and that they all prefer to move across the valley where hell is, than stay in heaven along with him. St. Peter, frightened of what he has been hearing, calls Epivitoras and tells him, “you know …son, there was one small mistake made with your …appointment …as I actually meant to have sent you on the …other …side, I hope you know what I mean, but …accidentally I appointed you …here, and I would kindly ask you to move across." Epivitoras, without thinking to much, tells him, "very well my lord ...no problem, as a matter of fact I didn’t like it too much here because some times they ask me to do voluntary communal work." "I will go accross, as you wish!"

A couple of days later, after Epivitoras moved across the valley to the other side where hell was located, St. Peter begun noticing the fires, smokes, steams and fumes of hell, one after the other, coming down and never go up again. He became furious and begun wondering what the hell was going on with devil and his crew, and why they let the fires go down in hell. He runs across to the other mountain to see what was happening, and to his amazement, he finds the hell frozen and devil and all his assistants standing up firmly, with their backs against the walls of hell. He shouts at them what is going on and asks why they let the fires under all the pots of hell go down, and why no one is fetching wood or lighting the fire under the pots and the boilers. Chief devil then replies to him and says, “…you know my Lord …why don’t you …bend and light the fires …yourself!”

[BirKibrisli]

It's not your being alive that bothers me, it's the state of your eternal soul and I can say here and now that many members of this forum will be made very welcome by myself when their moment comes. If anyone wishes to go to the Enemy in the Other Place, they have a lot of sins made here to account for. Sometimes I think that I, Lucifer, the fallen angel, am less sinful that many humans, especially politicians and those that dabble in politics promoting divisions between different humans. You have been warned!

There was once a Cypriot man called Epivitor, that used to screw everyone he would meet from the back. His time came to pass away and there he was, standing outside the gates of heaven. St. Peter, the keeper of heaven, asks him to confess all his wrongdoings so that he is judged where to be appointed, in heaven or across the mountain where hell was visibly located. Epivitor says that he was always a good family man and a human that always helped others, but he had only one shortcoming which was that he couldn’t resist the view of someone’s ass while bending. St. Peter smiled, thought for a while and then said, “ok, if this is your only shortcoming, then pass through the gates and you are forgiven!”

A couple of days later, one after the other the tenants of heaven began coming to St. Peter, complaining that this new person among them, Epivitoras, goes around and screws everyone he sees bending, including the very archangel and all the angels, and that they all prefer to move across the valley where hell is, than stay in heaven along with him. St. Peter, frightened of what he has been hearing, calls Epivitoras and tells him, “you know …son, there was one small mistake made with your …appointment …as I actually meant to have sent you on the …other …side, I hope you know what I mean, but …accidentally I appointed you …here, and I would kindly ask you to move across." Epivitoras, without thinking to much, tells him, "very well my lord ...no problem, as a matter of fact I didn’t like it too much here because some times they ask me to do voluntary communal work." "I will go accross, as you wish!"

A couple of days later, after Epivitoras moved across the valley to the other side where hell was located, St. Peter begun noticing the fires, smokes, steams and fumes of hell, one after the other, coming down and never go up again. He became furious and begun wondering what the hell was going on with devil and his crew, and why they let the fires go down in hell. He runs across to the other mountain to see what was happening, and to his amazement, he finds the hell frozen and devil and all his assistants standing up firmly, with their backs against the walls of hell. He shouts at them what is going on and asks why they let the fires under all the pots of hell go down, and why no one is fetching wood or lighting the fire under the pots and the boilers. Chief devil then replies to him and says, “…you know my Lord …why don’t you …bend and light the fires …yourself!”

[Kifeas]

Unless we are in a forum full of prudes, it seems I am not a good joke teller; since apart from Bir, no one else liked my joke!

[zan]

Must be a Cypriot thing cause I don't get it.


Nothing from VP to me either Bir. We all have to take a break from this mad house now and again and I hope he will return soon. He is very much missed.

[Kifeas]

What is it that you do not get, Zan?

[zan]

I guess its one of those jokes that just sounds better in Greek.

[Bill]

Must be a Cypriot thing cause I don't get it.

Well I certainly got it ( not up the rear end though)

And I'm not Cypriot -- Greek may be -- but definatly not Cypriot -- although I wouldn't mind if I was because I love Cyprus .

Bill

[Viewpoint]

Must be a Cypriot thing cause I don't get it.


Nothing from VP to me either Bir. We all have to take a break from this mad house now and again and I hope he will return soon. He is very much missed.

Thanks zan you are true friend. You are right I have taken some time away from the forum.

[andri_cy]

LOL Kifeas that was a good one