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Men V Women

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Men Vs Women

Postby greek.god » Thu Apr 26, 2007 12:44 pm

1. Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.

2. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

3. Men who have tattoos think they have a piece of artwork on them. Yeah, like a flaming skull is art?

4. Men are very confident people. My husband is so confident that when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates he can help his team. If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players from our living room, and if they're really in trouble, I have to get off the phone in case they call him.

5. Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.

6. Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.

7. All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. I sleep with one under my pillow, instead of a gun.

8. A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.

9. All men hate to hear "We need to talk about our relationship." These seven words strike fear in the heart of even General Schwartzkopf.

10 Men are sensitive in strange ways If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.

11 Men have an easier time buying bathing suits, Women have two types: depressing and more depressing Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.

12 Men have higher body temperatures than women If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.

13 Women take clothing much more seriously than men I've never seen a man walk into a party and say "Oh no, I'm so embarrassed; I've got to get out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo."

14 Most men hate to shop That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.

15 If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.

16 If you're dating a man who you think might be "Mr Right," if he a) got older, b) got a new job, or c) visited a psychiatrist, you are in for a nasty surprise. The cocoon-to-butterfly theory only
works on cocoons and butterflies.

17 No man is charming all of the time Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.

18 When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.

19 When four or more women get together, they talk about men.

20 Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.

21 Most women are introspective: "Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?" Most men are outrospective: "Did my team win? How's my car?"

22 If a man says, "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he didn't forget.. he didn't lose your number.. he didn't die. He just didn't want to call you.

23 Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis I asked him, "Are we going to have fun again?" He said, "Maybe.. next year."

24 Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem "Get out" and "I never want to see you again" might sound like a challenge If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying, "I love you.. I want to marry you.. I want to have your children." Sometimes they leave skid marks.

25 Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super- heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.

26 Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause - you get to flirt with young girls and drive motorcycles.

27 Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports They've already forgotten what happened.
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Postby Niki » Thu Apr 26, 2007 1:05 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Postby LENA » Thu Apr 26, 2007 1:29 pm

Greek.God.... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Postby devil » Thu Apr 26, 2007 2:19 pm

LENA wrote:Devil...you always look up for proofs? To see if its true or not like you do in joke sections...and now with a slang word... is your name Thomas by any chance??? :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: just kidding!!


Nope, there are no Thomases in our family. It is part of scientific training to verify one's sources.
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Postby LENA » Thu Apr 26, 2007 2:28 pm

devil wrote:
LENA wrote:Devil...you always look up for proofs? To see if its true or not like you do in joke sections...and now with a slang word... is your name Thomas by any chance??? :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: just kidding!!


Nope, there are no Thomases in our family. It is part of scientific training to verify one's sources.


I told you devil...I know ...I was just kidding....I know what are you talking about...dont worry... :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Postby ANGELTRACEY » Thu Apr 26, 2007 2:45 pm

devil and greek god, I nearly choked with laughter reading your posts. Very funny

:lol: :D

Luv T...xxx
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Postby sweetie pie » Thu Apr 26, 2007 3:05 pm

Get Real! wrote:
sweetie pie wrote:Mens brains are bigger because there is more shite in them!! :D :D

My dear, I do not doubt that you're a sweetie pie but I also notice that your overpopulated brain could not accommodate the correct spelling of the simple word "shit"... :(


LOL lack of understanding here methinks!!! Shite is an English way of saying shit. Its considered a little more polite and is a word used extensively in England.
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Postby MARIKKOU » Thu Apr 26, 2007 3:47 pm

If you look at nature...........birds, reptiles, animals, you will notice that the female species are always weaker or smaller..........and they seem to always have a little less..............or short of something........

were....male always have been entrusted by (god) or nature with a little more.............extra............

Referring to anatomy...................

But.............. diamonds are small also!
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Postby greek.god » Thu Apr 26, 2007 3:58 pm

SUCCESS:
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

STYLE:
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

MONEY MANAGEMENT:
A man is a person who will pay two dollars for a one dollar item he wants.
A woman will pay one dollar for a two dollar item that she doesn't want.

HAPPINESS:
To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

MARRIAGE EXPECTATIONS:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

MARRIAGE DECISIONS:
Men marry because they are tired.
Women marry because they are curious.
Both are disappointed.

MARRIAGE AND THE FUTURE:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband,
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MEMORIES:
A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her.
A man cherishes the memory of the woman who he didn't marry.

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN:
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.

WHAT A WOMAN WANTS:
Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy...
- One is to let her think she is having her own way.
- The other is to let her have it.

LONGEVITY:
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

MISTAKES:
Any married man should forget his mistakes - no use
two people remembering the same thing.

THE BATTLE:
A woman always has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


For the males in the forum. :twisted:
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Postby LENA » Thu Apr 26, 2007 4:06 pm

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