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[devil]

Howard is 95 and lives in a senior citizen home. Every night after dinner, Howard goes to a secluded garden behind the center to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life.

One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat, and before they know it, several hours have passed. After a short lull in their conversation, Howard turns to Mildred and asks, "Do you know what I miss most of all?" She asks, "What?" and he replies " SEX!!!"

Mildred exclaims, "Why you old fart, you couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!" "I know," Howard says, "but it would be nice if a woman just held it for a while." "Well, I can oblige", says Mildred, who gently unzips his trousers, and proceeds to hold his manhood. Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Howard's manhood.

Then, one night, Howard didn't show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Howard and make sure that he was O.K. She walked around the senior citizen home where she found him sitting by the pool with another female resident, Ethel, who was holding Howard's manhood! Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing creep! What does Ethel have that I don't have?!?" Howard smiled happily and replied, "Parkinson's."

[Bill]

Absolutely brilliant .


Clever Howard


Bill

[villawagen]

[elko]

Its a good one but I read it ages ago.
ismet

[free_cyprus]

two couple had been married for fifty years and to celebrate their 50 yers marriage they went to a small town where they met............... they sat in a small cafe and the man turned and said to his wife do you remember we do none it for the first time behind this cafe..............on the next table a policamn in civilian cloths was listening to all this .............. the men replyed yed i rember do you fancy going for it again lets do it again in the same spot...............................so them men and woman got up and went around the back of the little cafe . the police man though i have to have alook at this these two can bearly walk and they are going to have it off............ as he policeman peeked around the corner he saw the woman undressed and the men undress they the man pushed the woman onto the fence that was saparating the field behind the cafe and started really going for it the woman was screaming the man was screaming and they made twenty year olds look shame how they were at it after about thirty min they walk around the corner back to the cafe............ the policeman said to them listen i saw what you two were up to back there and i have to congratulate you for the way you still make love i hope i can be like you to when i get to your age............. the old man replied listen son the first time we made love the electric fence was not there lol

[Simon]

[miltiades]

Three 70 years old boys are having a drink reminiscing about the past when one turns to the other and asks , Tell us Geoffrey what was you most embarrassing moment of your life ? When my mother caught me playing with myself replied Geoffrey . Oh well says John , boys will be boys. Damn it man says Geoffrey that was last night !