Forgive my use of an American exression but "If you bat for the other side" or "put from the rough" you may still contribute to the post.
I am a heterosexual man who loves the woman I am married to! I love her faults, psycopathic a few day a month, talks way too much, has an appetite that a side of beaf would have a hard time controlling, is a bad driver (scares the hell out of me when she drives) and will kill anyone who even glances at me with a Smile. She still weighs 56 kilos at nearly 40, a zest for sex, and my best friend.
Our 6th anniversary is coming up on the 21st of this month and I have never been happier. She loves rings and I bought her an expensive Ruby even though I couldn't afford it. I would die for my wife.
Why do you love your partner?
Why Do We Love Women or Men?
Why Do We Love Women or Men?
by greek.god » Sun Mar 18, 2007 6:05 pm
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greek.god - Contributor
- Posts: 312
- Joined: Sat Mar 04, 2006 2:06 pm
- Location: Cyprus
by My_Friend » Sun Mar 18, 2007 8:12 pm
You are love. The raw material making you is love. Love is not a feeling, a mood or a habit that you have to develop or cultivate over time. Love is your very nature.
Feelings come and go. We can be in love and feel good or bad. When we forget our center, we start attaching ourselves to feelings. We are not the feeling itself; we are the one who experiences different feelings. When deep stresses and strains are removed, we begin to understand our true nature. The heart opens. Then we realize what we truly are: love. The glimpse of divine love brings inner ecstasy. Love comes to be experienced in a much broader and deeper context. Judgments and expectations of ourselves and others fall off. Life takes on a new flavor of joy and happiness. One becomes free of the dependency on other persons, places or things for personal fulfillment. We soon discover that this divine love is the very source, the very core of all other types of love. Every cell of our being reverberates with this essence of love.
Once you’ve tasted it, you know this love inside you can never die. It may appear to have gone, but it cannot, it only gets covered. There is not a single person on this planet whose heart is empty. Every heart at its depth is full with love.
The folowing selections are from a collection of short talks in the book Celebrating Silence by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar.
There are three kinds of love: the love that comes out of charm, the love that comes out of comfort, and Divine love.
The love that comes out of charm does not last long. It comes out of unfamiliarity or out of attraction. In this love, you lose attraction quickly, and boredom sets in, like most love marriages. This love may diminish and bring along with it fear, uncertainty, insecurity and sadness.
The love that comes out of comfort and familiarity grows. You are more comfortable with an old friend who is a familiar person, rather than with a new person. But this love has no thrill, no enthusiasm, no joy or fire in it.
Divine love supersedes all other love. Divine love is always new and the closer you get, the more charm and depth you experience. Divine love brings comfort, familiarity and enthusiasm. There is never boredom, and it keeps you alert and aware.
Worldly love can be like an ocean, yet an ocean has a bottom. Divine love is like the sky — limitless, infinite. From the bottom of the ocean, soar into the vast sky.
Beyond an object is infinity.
Knowledge is not an event; it is beyond events. It you take one event and infer anything from it — infer knowledge — it will be erroneous knowledge. If someone gets angry and shouts, you attribute anger to that person, but actually the anger was carried from someone else to him or her. Someone else got angry first and someone before that and someone else before that and on and on.
When you go beyond an event, only then will truth dawn. One particular event gives you a false notion, so you have to consider the totality of events, the totality of all events infinitely. Beyond the event is knowledge.
What do we call a person? A person is a body, a mind, a complex of behaviors that is changing. Love is unchanging. Beyond the person is love. When you lose your personality, you become love. If you cannot lose yourself, you cannot find yourself. So lose your personality and find yourself.
Behind every object is infinity. An object is limited. Reduce an object to atoms and you will find that each atom contains infinite space. Beyond the object is infinity.
Maya — delusion — is getting caught up in the event, in the personality, in the object. Knowledge, love, Brahman — divine consciousness — is seeing beyond all these. Do you see? This is just a little shift. The object behind the object is infinity. The person behind the person is love.
Why do you love someone? Is it because of their qualities or because of a sense of kinship or intimacy?
You can love someone for their qualities and not feel a sense of kinship. This type of love gives rise to competition and jealousy. Such is not the case when love arises out of kinship.
If you love someone for their qualities, when the qualities change or you get accustomed to their qualities, your love also changes. However, if you love someone out of kinship, because they belong to you, then that love remains for lifetimes.
People say, “I love God because He is great.” What if God is found to be ordinary, just one of us? Then your love for God would collapse. If you love God because He is yours, then however God is, whether he creates or destroys, you still love Him. The love of kinship is like the love for yourself.
Question: “Why do so many people have no love for themselves?”
No. It is just the opposite. They love themselves so much that they want better qualities for themselves. They want to appear better than they think they are. This love of qualities makes them hard on themselves.
If love is based on the qualities of a person, that love is not stable. After some time, the qualities change and the love becomes shaky. Loving someone because of their greatness or uniqueness is third-rate love. Loving someone because they belong to you, great or otherwise, is unconditional love.
Knowledge, along with sadhana, seva and satsang — spiritual practice, service, and coming together in celebration — help to engender a sense of belonging. When love springs from a sense of belongingness, then the actions and qualities do not overshadow the love. Neither qualities nor actions can be perfect all the time. Only love and a feeling of kinship can be perfect.
When someone expresses love to you, what do you do?
You feel obliged and bound.
You shrink or shy away.
You feel foolish and awkward.
You try to reciprocate even though it is not genuine.
You doubt the love expressed and you doubt your own worthiness.
You are afraid of losing respect because love does not allow distance and respect tends to keep a distance.
Your ego hardens and does not allow you to receive and reciprocate.
The ability to receive genuine love comes with the ability to give love. The more you are centered and know by experience that you are love, the more you feel at home with any amount of love being expressed in any manner; for deep inside, you know love is not an emotion. It is your very existence.
You feel love for someone and they do not accept it. What do you do?
Get frustrated.
Turn the love into hatred and wish for revenge.
Again and again remind them how much you love them and how little they love you.
Become fussy and cranky.
Throw tantrums.
Feel humiliated and try to protect your respect.
Resolve never to love again.
Feel hurt and mistreated.
Try to be aloof and indifferent.
But have you seen that none of these work; they only make the situation worse. What is the way out of this? How do you maintain your lovingness?
Have patience and change your expression of love.
Be centered and limit your expression of love. Sometimes expressing love too much puts people off.
Take it for granted that they love you too and just accept their style of expression.
Genuinely acknowledge whatever love they have for you. This will turn your demand into gratefulness and the more grateful you are in life, the more love comes your way.
Know that hurt is part of love and take responsibility for it. When you move away from your center, you will get hurt and the nature of worldliness is misery.
Joy is love for what is. Sorrow is love for what is not.
Feelings come and go. We can be in love and feel good or bad. When we forget our center, we start attaching ourselves to feelings. We are not the feeling itself; we are the one who experiences different feelings. When deep stresses and strains are removed, we begin to understand our true nature. The heart opens. Then we realize what we truly are: love. The glimpse of divine love brings inner ecstasy. Love comes to be experienced in a much broader and deeper context. Judgments and expectations of ourselves and others fall off. Life takes on a new flavor of joy and happiness. One becomes free of the dependency on other persons, places or things for personal fulfillment. We soon discover that this divine love is the very source, the very core of all other types of love. Every cell of our being reverberates with this essence of love.
Once you’ve tasted it, you know this love inside you can never die. It may appear to have gone, but it cannot, it only gets covered. There is not a single person on this planet whose heart is empty. Every heart at its depth is full with love.
The folowing selections are from a collection of short talks in the book Celebrating Silence by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar.
There are three kinds of love: the love that comes out of charm, the love that comes out of comfort, and Divine love.
The love that comes out of charm does not last long. It comes out of unfamiliarity or out of attraction. In this love, you lose attraction quickly, and boredom sets in, like most love marriages. This love may diminish and bring along with it fear, uncertainty, insecurity and sadness.
The love that comes out of comfort and familiarity grows. You are more comfortable with an old friend who is a familiar person, rather than with a new person. But this love has no thrill, no enthusiasm, no joy or fire in it.
Divine love supersedes all other love. Divine love is always new and the closer you get, the more charm and depth you experience. Divine love brings comfort, familiarity and enthusiasm. There is never boredom, and it keeps you alert and aware.
Worldly love can be like an ocean, yet an ocean has a bottom. Divine love is like the sky — limitless, infinite. From the bottom of the ocean, soar into the vast sky.
Beyond an object is infinity.
Knowledge is not an event; it is beyond events. It you take one event and infer anything from it — infer knowledge — it will be erroneous knowledge. If someone gets angry and shouts, you attribute anger to that person, but actually the anger was carried from someone else to him or her. Someone else got angry first and someone before that and someone else before that and on and on.
When you go beyond an event, only then will truth dawn. One particular event gives you a false notion, so you have to consider the totality of events, the totality of all events infinitely. Beyond the event is knowledge.
What do we call a person? A person is a body, a mind, a complex of behaviors that is changing. Love is unchanging. Beyond the person is love. When you lose your personality, you become love. If you cannot lose yourself, you cannot find yourself. So lose your personality and find yourself.
Behind every object is infinity. An object is limited. Reduce an object to atoms and you will find that each atom contains infinite space. Beyond the object is infinity.
Maya — delusion — is getting caught up in the event, in the personality, in the object. Knowledge, love, Brahman — divine consciousness — is seeing beyond all these. Do you see? This is just a little shift. The object behind the object is infinity. The person behind the person is love.
Why do you love someone? Is it because of their qualities or because of a sense of kinship or intimacy?
You can love someone for their qualities and not feel a sense of kinship. This type of love gives rise to competition and jealousy. Such is not the case when love arises out of kinship.
If you love someone for their qualities, when the qualities change or you get accustomed to their qualities, your love also changes. However, if you love someone out of kinship, because they belong to you, then that love remains for lifetimes.
People say, “I love God because He is great.” What if God is found to be ordinary, just one of us? Then your love for God would collapse. If you love God because He is yours, then however God is, whether he creates or destroys, you still love Him. The love of kinship is like the love for yourself.
Question: “Why do so many people have no love for themselves?”
No. It is just the opposite. They love themselves so much that they want better qualities for themselves. They want to appear better than they think they are. This love of qualities makes them hard on themselves.
If love is based on the qualities of a person, that love is not stable. After some time, the qualities change and the love becomes shaky. Loving someone because of their greatness or uniqueness is third-rate love. Loving someone because they belong to you, great or otherwise, is unconditional love.
Knowledge, along with sadhana, seva and satsang — spiritual practice, service, and coming together in celebration — help to engender a sense of belonging. When love springs from a sense of belongingness, then the actions and qualities do not overshadow the love. Neither qualities nor actions can be perfect all the time. Only love and a feeling of kinship can be perfect.
When someone expresses love to you, what do you do?
You feel obliged and bound.
You shrink or shy away.
You feel foolish and awkward.
You try to reciprocate even though it is not genuine.
You doubt the love expressed and you doubt your own worthiness.
You are afraid of losing respect because love does not allow distance and respect tends to keep a distance.
Your ego hardens and does not allow you to receive and reciprocate.
The ability to receive genuine love comes with the ability to give love. The more you are centered and know by experience that you are love, the more you feel at home with any amount of love being expressed in any manner; for deep inside, you know love is not an emotion. It is your very existence.
You feel love for someone and they do not accept it. What do you do?
Get frustrated.
Turn the love into hatred and wish for revenge.
Again and again remind them how much you love them and how little they love you.
Become fussy and cranky.
Throw tantrums.
Feel humiliated and try to protect your respect.
Resolve never to love again.
Feel hurt and mistreated.
Try to be aloof and indifferent.
But have you seen that none of these work; they only make the situation worse. What is the way out of this? How do you maintain your lovingness?
Have patience and change your expression of love.
Be centered and limit your expression of love. Sometimes expressing love too much puts people off.
Take it for granted that they love you too and just accept their style of expression.
Genuinely acknowledge whatever love they have for you. This will turn your demand into gratefulness and the more grateful you are in life, the more love comes your way.
Know that hurt is part of love and take responsibility for it. When you move away from your center, you will get hurt and the nature of worldliness is misery.
Joy is love for what is. Sorrow is love for what is not.
-
My_Friend - Contributor
- Posts: 244
- Joined: Tue Mar 13, 2007 10:35 pm
Re: Why Do We Love Women or Men?
by GorillaGal » Sun Mar 18, 2007 10:23 pm
greek.god wrote:Forgive my use of an American exression but "If you bat for the other side" or "put from the rough" you may still contribute to the post.
I am a heterosexual man who loves the woman I am married to! I love her faults, psycopathic a few day a month, talks way too much, has an appetite that a side of beaf would have a hard time controlling, is a bad driver (scares the hell out of me when she drives) and will kill anyone who even glances at me with a Smile. She still weighs 56 kilos at nearly 40, a zest for sex, and my best friend.
Our 6th anniversary is coming up on the 21st of this month and I have never been happier. She loves rings and I bought her an expensive Ruby even though I couldn't afford it. I would die for my wife.
Why do you love your partner?
i am so touched by this. i hope someday to meet someone who would love me as much as you love your wife.
-
GorillaGal - Main Contributor
- Posts: 4458
- Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2006 12:31 am
- Location: new york
Re: Why Do We Love Women or Men?
by karma » Sun Mar 18, 2007 10:27 pm
GorillaGal wrote:greek.god wrote:Forgive my use of an American exression but "If you bat for the other side" or "put from the rough" you may still contribute to the post.
I am a heterosexual man who loves the woman I am married to! I love her faults, psycopathic a few day a month, talks way too much, has an appetite that a side of beaf would have a hard time controlling, is a bad driver (scares the hell out of me when she drives) and will kill anyone who even glances at me with a Smile. She still weighs 56 kilos at nearly 40, a zest for sex, and my best friend.
Our 6th anniversary is coming up on the 21st of this month and I have never been happier. She loves rings and I bought her an expensive Ruby even though I couldn't afford it. I would die for my wife.
Why do you love your partner?
i am so touched by this. i hope someday to meet someone who would love me as much as you love your wife.
Is tht the RUBY Gorilla, I thought u like the TURQUOISE the most
-
karma - Main Contributor
- Posts: 3096
- Joined: Wed Nov 29, 2006 8:31 pm
Re: Why Do We Love Women or Men?
by My_Friend » Sun Mar 18, 2007 10:29 pm
GorillaGal wrote:i am so touched by this. i hope someday to meet someone who would love me as much as you love your wife.
I can help ?
-
My_Friend - Contributor
- Posts: 244
- Joined: Tue Mar 13, 2007 10:35 pm
Re: Why Do We Love Women or Men?
by GorillaGal » Sun Mar 18, 2007 10:40 pm
My_Friend wrote:GorillaGal wrote:i am so touched by this. i hope someday to meet someone who would love me as much as you love your wife.
I can help ?
yes, but i told you, you have to come to NY!
XXX
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GorillaGal - Main Contributor
- Posts: 4458
- Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2006 12:31 am
- Location: new york
Re: Why Do We Love Women or Men?
by GorillaGal » Sun Mar 18, 2007 10:41 pm
karma wrote:GorillaGal wrote:greek.god wrote:Forgive my use of an American exression but "If you bat for the other side" or "put from the rough" you may still contribute to the post.
I am a heterosexual man who loves the woman I am married to! I love her faults, psycopathic a few day a month, talks way too much, has an appetite that a side of beaf would have a hard time controlling, is a bad driver (scares the hell out of me when she drives) and will kill anyone who even glances at me with a Smile. She still weighs 56 kilos at nearly 40, a zest for sex, and my best friend.
Our 6th anniversary is coming up on the 21st of this month and I have never been happier. She loves rings and I bought her an expensive Ruby even though I couldn't afford it. I would die for my wife.
Why do you love your partner?
i am so touched by this. i hope someday to meet someone who would love me as much as you love your wife.
Is tht the RUBY Gorilla, I thought u like the TURQUOISE the most
ruby is my birthstone. why would you think i preferred turquiose, Karma?
-
GorillaGal - Main Contributor
- Posts: 4458
- Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2006 12:31 am
- Location: new york
Re: Why Do We Love Women or Men?
by karma » Sun Mar 18, 2007 10:50 pm
GorillaGal wrote:karma wrote:GorillaGal wrote:greek.god wrote:Forgive my use of an American exression but "If you bat for the other side" or "put from the rough" you may still contribute to the post.
I am a heterosexual man who loves the woman I am married to! I love her faults, psycopathic a few day a month, talks way too much, has an appetite that a side of beaf would have a hard time controlling, is a bad driver (scares the hell out of me when she drives) and will kill anyone who even glances at me with a Smile. She still weighs 56 kilos at nearly 40, a zest for sex, and my best friend.
Our 6th anniversary is coming up on the 21st of this month and I have never been happier. She loves rings and I bought her an expensive Ruby even though I couldn't afford it. I would die for my wife.
Why do you love your partner?
i am so touched by this. i hope someday to meet someone who would love me as much as you love your wife.
Is tht the RUBY Gorilla, I thought u like the TURQUOISE the most
ruby is my birthstone. why would you think i preferred turquiose, Karma?
Coz u have good taste
-
karma - Main Contributor
- Posts: 3096
- Joined: Wed Nov 29, 2006 8:31 pm
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