Cyprus-Forum.com

[Viewpoint]

Hi Jo,

You are right its not the easiest of things to up sticks and move to a new country, you took that risk and it didn't pay off. Your lack of Turkish and not being accepted by your partners family always puts a strain on your marriage and life. Mixed marriages at the best of times are very difficult to sustain and one side has to sacrifice a great deal to keep things on a even keel. But you are not alone and there are many Anglo-TC families who do not do enough research come and are disappointed therefore deciding go back, but there are also cases where they flourish and have the opportunity to do things they would not dream of the in the UK amongst their own people.

I wish you the best for your future life in the UK, don't forget to visit once and a while so your children do not forget their TC side.

[joderv1]

Hi Jo,

You are right its not the easiest of things to up sticks and move to a new country, you took that risk and it didn't pay off. Your lack of Turkish and not being accepted by your partners family always puts a strain on your marriage and life. Mixed marriages at the best of times are very difficult to sustain and one side has to sacrifice a great deal to keep things on a even keel. But you are not alone and there are many Anglo-TC families who do not do enough research come and are disappointed therefore deciding go back, but there are also cases where they flourish and have the opportunity to do things they would not dream of the in the UK amongst their own people.

I wish you the best for your future life in the UK, don't forget to visit once and a while so your children do not forget their TC side.

Thanks VP. I cannot say if we would have stayed here even they had made our lives easier, but they just chose not to and that is their loss. I think it would have been better if they could just have kept their opinions to themselves (long story). They cannot accept me, but want me to make all the effort. My husband is very disappointed and hurt by their attitude.

It is not easy living here and for our children's sake we are going to call it a day. It has not put us off moving to another country and we may do it again.

Jo

[pitsilos]

Jo what didn't they accept?

the reason i am asking is i am also not married to a cypriot, but my parents/relatives get on like a house on fire with my wife and kids. we do live in australia and not in cyprus though

[karma]

all problem is mothers in love, not the matter of country, I hate them...

[Pyrpolizer]

VP would you care to elaborate on excactly what you mean by right climate? I would like to know what conditions you would like to see in order to move south. Your response would be appreciated, however, I have noticed that you go without answering this question, as I have asked before.

We have discussed this before but lets do it again...

1. The administration would have to have its TC representation in place to protect my rights.

2. Schools for TC children.

3. All documentation in both languages.

4. TC representation in all government and official bodies.

5. Return of property to TC refugees if this is a long and delayed process then the payment to temporary accommodation.

6. Support in finding employment according to education and experience.

7. Heavy penalties for acts of discrimination in all areas of life, through a speedy process not delayed and thrown into a draw somewhere.

These are a few that spring to mind.

You forgot the most important element:Been welcomed without hard feelings from the GCs. Under current conditons the GCs do not feel warmhearted for you. We discissed this with mrfromng last night. The feel bitter, and terribly unfairly treated by you.The best you can receive is just a cold and indifferent envoronment.

But anyway... I have a question for you:

What you asked above is basically your return to 1960 agreements. Why do you PRETEND you want that, and then go ahead rejecting it? You did that to Kikapu last night. Kikapu is proposing a Fed state, you twist it around as if it would be a return to a unitary state and then go ahead rejecting it on grounds of you will be elliminated to minority status, lose all your rights, have no say, and even putting your life in danger.

WHY DO YOU DO THIS ALL THE TIME?

[joderv1]

Jo what didn't they accept?

the reason i am asking is i am also not married to a cypriot, but my parents/relatives get on like a house on fire with my wife and kids. we do live in australia and not in cyprus though

Hi Pitsilos,

They cannot accept the fact I am NOT Turkish Cypriot. They had a problem with me at the start and my husband chose me. We moved here under the illusion that after 13 years (11 years at the time) that they would have got over that.

It has been made clear to me in both words and actions I am 'NOT part of the family'.

I am glad your experience has been better than mine. It is sad, but you know what I am losing nothing. For my husband this is not the case, but he loves me and our children.

Jo

[karma]

Jo what didn't they accept?

the reason i am asking is i am also not married to a cypriot, but my parents/relatives get on like a house on fire with my wife and kids. we do live in australia and not in cyprus though

Hi Pitsilos,

They cannot accept the fact I am NOT Turkish Cypriot. They had a problem with me at the start and my husband chose me. We moved here under the illusion that after 13 years (11 years at the time) that they would have got over that.

It has been made clear to me in both words and actions I am 'NOT part of the family'.

I am glad your experience has been better than mine. It is sad, but you know what I am losing nothing. For my husband this is not the case, but he loves me and our children.

Jo

I can imagine ur mother in law...she must be something like Emily Rose or Condoliza Rize

[pitsilos]

thanks for getting back to me Jo and yes its vey sad when a human being cannot accept another on the grounds of coming from a different culture.

the happy part is that you have a family of your own and what boils down its their loss.

i wish you all the best for the future and keep your head high in knowing life is too short for all the bullshit that surrounds us.

[Pyrpolizer]

I think I know now why Clerides and others were in favour of the Annan plan. They honestly believed it was the best deal they would ever get and if the article that started this debate is a true reflection of what it is like in the north they were probably right. Many TCs are not happy with their lot and are a declining proportion of the population. The GCs cannot afford to encourage too many TCs to move south because that will accelerate the TC exodus and make the north even more Turkish. A Turkish (mainland) populated north will never be accepted as a partner by the GCs and the partition will be final- legal or not. It's possible that one day in the future, perhaps as part of EU entry requirements, Turkey may return a significant part of the island to the GCs in exchange for recognition or annexation even of the north but it looks as if partition (unfortunately) is here to stay. I think Papadopoulos's problem is that he is unable to tell the difference between Turkey and Turkish Cypriots.

The problem is Jerry would the Anan Plan reverse this situation or embed it? In my opinion it would embed it and the TCs would still be under total control from Ankara, moreover we the GCs would get a huge headache.

If in fact the outcome would one way or another be that all the TCs will be elliminated, and the occupied areas are run by a few ultranationalist TCs and the majority would be settlers then this puts the Cypprob on a totally new different basis.

There would be no need to talk for Federation any more. And I don't think partition would be accepted either as the new population would have no political or property rights in Cyprus.

That would be a huge problem for Turkey because she wouldn't be a able to talk for any political rights solution anymore, and she would be forced to ask for partition. By the minute she officially asks for partition Turkey will be a piece of dead meat, and she would not know how to abandon the place and leave her settlers on the mercy of the GCs.

This I believe is the reason they already stopped importing new settlers. They already saw where would that lead them.

[joderv1]

thanks for getting back to me Jo and yes its vey sad when a human being cannot accept another on the grounds of coming from a different culture.

the happy part is that you have a family of your own and what boils down its their loss.

i wish you all the best for the future and keep your head high in knowing life is too short for all the bullshit that surrounds us.

Thank you for your kind words. It is sad, but a fact of life at times. Thank god my family love my husband and we will always have their support.

I always felt that I had problems with my family, you know little things. But I count my blessings now after experiencing life with another family.

Life is too short and Karma LOL. She is not a one off when it comes to in-laws. I have heard about worse and better. Her son chose me and not her and that is her grudge.

Jo