Cyprus-Forum.com

[karma]

These things are of the past my friend, perhaps the time our mothers got married. I assume you refer to calling the inlaws to see the blood on the sheet when the couple sleeps together for first time. Hey imagine during my grannys days they would even hang the sheets outside the window for the villages to see that the bride was a virgin

And many an innocent chicken were brutally slaughtered to make those sheets look good...

Poor chickens! Nail polish wld do the same work in a more humanistic way

[humanist]

Do non Turkish Speaking Cypriots have the right to be concerned at the demise of the Turkish Speaking Cypriot culture at the hands of Turkish settlers?

[joderv1]

Woops until I posted jo has answered.

Jo can I also ask you a question? I am sure you met other British persons who got married with TCs. So far you said "some" were well accepted "some" not.
Could you please quantify this "some"? I mean is it 9/10, is it 1/10, what?

Hi Pyrpolizer,

Based on my experience I would say that about 4/10 were accepted. Sometimes it has depended on where the families are i.e. UK or Cyprus.

My husbands aunt is in UK, she has eight children and they all married non-cypriots and all her grandchildren have English names. She accepts them all and loves them too, even me.

The parents that are in Cyprus are more difficult. Some had a hard time at the start and got over it and were accepting and some still have a problem.

It is hard to quantify as only my experience I am going on. Zan says he married an English woman twice so he also knows the issues my husband has to deal with.

And hi to Zan. I have always respected my in-laws. They dis-respected me some years ago and I let it go. They have pissed me off on more than one occasion with their comments and I let it go. The last time I had to stand up for myself and so has my husband. I have lost respect for them, but now what I do is be pleasant and leave it at that.

Jo

[pitsilos]

Jo I think your problem was not standing up to the inlaws from day one. This was taken as a sign of weakness, I am certain of that.

My younger brother was married to a cypriot girl, but the same problem as with you and at the end a divorce, because he finally woke up...He is married to a greek woman now and things are a bit different...I would say either he learned his lesson or does things differently.

As I said before I am married to an australian, and while the outlaws are a bit relaxed, they still nag me every now and then, but I don't hold back, I let them know where they stand.

[Viewpoint]

Woops until I posted jo has answered.

Jo can I also ask you a question? I am sure you met other British persons who got married with TCs. So far you said "some" were well accepted "some" not.
Could you please quantify this "some"? I mean is it 9/10, is it 1/10, what?

Hi Pyrpolizer,

Based on my experience I would say that about 4/10 were accepted. Sometimes it has depended on where the families are i.e. UK or Cyprus.

My husbands aunt is in UK, she has eight children and they all married non-cypriots and all her grandchildren have English names. She accepts them all and loves them too, even me.

The parents that are in Cyprus are more difficult. Some had a hard time at the start and got over it and were accepting and some still have a problem.

It is hard to quantify as only my experience I am going on. Zan says he married an English woman twice so he also knows the issues my husband has to deal with.

And hi to Zan. I have always respected my in-laws. They dis-respected me some years ago and I let it go. They have pissed me off on more than one occasion with their comments and I let it go. The last time I had to stand up for myself and so has my husband. I have lost respect for them, but now what I do is be pleasant and leave it at that.

Jo

The same situation could have been relevant if you married a French man this is not unique to TCs or Cyprus as a whole. The cultural difference and you lack of Turkish will always being an obstacle to you getting to know and love your in laws. You must not forget these are very conservative people set in their ways you cannot change them you have to accept them as they are and adjust yourself by learning Turkish and cook Turkish food and trying to generally fit as it a marriage you went into knowing your partner would be of a different cultural background, or the other explanation is that your MIL is a nasty piece of work which is just your bad luck.

Now maybe some people can understand why TC families prefer for their off spring to marry TC, so as to avoid the additional problems which can break a marriage.

[joderv1]

Woops until I posted jo has answered.

Jo can I also ask you a question? I am sure you met other British persons who got married with TCs. So far you said "some" were well accepted "some" not.
Could you please quantify this "some"? I mean is it 9/10, is it 1/10, what?

Hi Pyrpolizer,

Based on my experience I would say that about 4/10 were accepted. Sometimes it has depended on where the families are i.e. UK or Cyprus.

My husbands aunt is in UK, she has eight children and they all married non-cypriots and all her grandchildren have English names. She accepts them all and loves them too, even me.

The parents that are in Cyprus are more difficult. Some had a hard time at the start and got over it and were accepting and some still have a problem.

It is hard to quantify as only my experience I am going on. Zan says he married an English woman twice so he also knows the issues my husband has to deal with.

And hi to Zan. I have always respected my in-laws. They dis-respected me some years ago and I let it go. They have pissed me off on more than one occasion with their comments and I let it go. The last time I had to stand up for myself and so has my husband. I have lost respect for them, but now what I do is be pleasant and leave it at that.

Jo

The same situation could have been relevant if you married a French man this is not unique to TCs or Cyprus as a whole. The cultural difference and you lack of Turkish will always being an obstacle to you getting to know and love your in laws. You must not forget these are very conservative people set in their ways you cannot change them you have to accept them as they are and adjust yourself by learning Turkish and cook Turkish food and trying to generally fit as it a marriage you went into knowing your partner would be of a different cultural background, or the other explanation is that your MIL is a nasty piece of work which is just your bad luck.

Now maybe some people can understand why TC families prefer for their off spring to marry TC, so as to avoid the additional problems which can break a marriage.

Hi Viewpoint,

What I did not say about my in-laws is they speak full English. His mother was brought up in the UK from a very young age and his father left Cyprus and was living in the UK up until 33 years ago. His parents met in the UK, got engaged and then came to Cyprus.

My MIL took a time to adapt to life in Cyprus, she was not speaking perfect Turkish, her family were in the UK and she dressed differently. She struggled, but somehow that is different.

I thought she would be more understanding, but obviously not. I honestly and naively thought we could be friends, but living with them for 5 months it showed their true feelings.

I think I have stated facts and my feelings all along and not attributed it to being TC issue only. I know that other cultures have issues and mixed relationships can be a problem.

Jo

[joderv1]

Oh yeah and I forgot to mention per your last sentence Viewpoint. There may be problems with his family, but they will never break this marriage.

Jo

[Viewpoint]

Oh yeah and I forgot to mention per your last sentence Viewpoint. There may be problems with his family, but they will never break this marriage.

Jo

Good for you Jo.......

It was just the bad luck of the draw, look at it this way there are plenty of TC brides that detest their in laws, so you are not alone and the most important factor is that your husband is on your side.

[Pyrpolizer]

Woops until I posted jo has answered.

Jo can I also ask you a question? I am sure you met other British persons who got married with TCs. So far you said "some" were well accepted "some" not.
Could you please quantify this "some"? I mean is it 9/10, is it 1/10, what?

Hi Pyrpolizer,

Based on my experience I would say that about 4/10 were accepted. Sometimes it has depended on where the families are i.e. UK or Cyprus.

My husbands aunt is in UK, she has eight children and they all married non-cypriots and all her grandchildren have English names. She accepts them all and loves them too, even me.

The parents that are in Cyprus are more difficult. Some had a hard time at the start and got over it and were accepting and some still have a problem.

It is hard to quantify as only my experience I am going on. Zan says he married an English woman twice so he also knows the issues my husband has to deal with.

And hi to Zan. I have always respected my in-laws. They dis-respected me some years ago and I let it go. They have pissed me off on more than one occasion with their comments and I let it go. The last time I had to stand up for myself and so has my husband. I have lost respect for them, but now what I do is be pleasant and leave it at that.

Jo

Thank you joderv1 I am satisfied now. You know I am a bit obsessed with numbers and statistics, everybody in here knows me, so please excuse my little passion.

Good luck my dear, go back in the UK with your lovely husband and get it out of your mind the soonest possible. Your children need a happy mother and a proud father next to them, not an unhappy mother and a dominated by his parents father.Get out of it the soonest possible, for the sake of your children if nothing else.

[Pyrpolizer]

These things are of the past my friend, perhaps the time our mothers got married. I assume you refer to calling the inlaws to see the blood on the sheet when the couple sleeps together for first time. Hey imagine during my grannys days they would even hang the sheets outside the window for the villages to see that the bride was a virgin

And many an innocent chicken were brutally slaughtered to make those sheets look good...

He,he,he. Even my granny knew the trick. She used "palaz-outhkia" though.